


lover, please stay

by yvie



Series: lover, please stay [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining, Secret Relationship, Self-Indulgent, also: the story behind taeyong's "i love you", au where taeyong is constantly pining over ten, but in prose, lots of kissing though, non-au, ten leaving ty in the brozone but also feeling the same for him, this is actually just one huge taeten rant, ty is W H I P P E D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-19 08:39:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14870450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvie/pseuds/yvie
Summary: In which Taeyong wants to be more than brothers, and in which Ten perhaps wants the same.(or a fictional interpretation of the events prior and during the ten and taeyong bangkok fanmeeting of 2018.)





	1. i. prelude

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first boy/boy fanfic (but not my first attempt at it...) and this is also written purely out of self-indulgence. i had originally planned this out as a one-shot fic, but i realized that it would be much too long if it was just a one-shot. i was inspired by the interview during the fanmeeting, where ten and taeyong said that they saw each other as siblings, and the vlive in bangkok. the title is from the song, "lover, please stay" by nothing but thieves - the song that ten played in the bangkok vlive. forgive me for any inaccuracies in the dates or whatever else. i hope you like this, though!

It had been a long time since Taeyong had seen Ten. He had been busy with promotions in Japan with his brothers in NCT 127, so his schedule was packed. From photoshoots, to interviews, to video shoots, to performances, to showcases, there was hardly room for Taeyong to breathe. And he also had this fanmeeting to handle, with Ten.

His Ten. His Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul.

_His?_

Perhaps a “long time” would be an exaggeration since it had only been a few weeks since he and Ten saw each other, but time apart felt like torture for Taeyong. He wanted to see Ten again, the love of his life. The apple of his eye, his entire world, and all those cliches that Taeyong dared not speak of in real life. He didn’t exactly know what he and Ten had, perhaps it was a relationship, perhaps it wasn’t. The farthest they had gone was a cuddle, and that wasn’t exactly an exclusively romantic thing. Brothers can do that, of course. Brothers can hold hands. They can even kiss each other on the cheek - hell, Taeyong does that platonically with the other boys with little to no strange feelings from inside. In fact, he was always one for skinship.

So what made Ten different?

Ten made Taeyong’s heart swell. The made his stomach do flips whenever they’d see each other. His heart never felt this way for Ten when they were just trainees, or even during their early days of debut. He was always just a little brother: a curious, over-excited little brother that Taeyong wanted to take care of because he feared Ten might fall and hurt himself one day.

Then “Baby Don’t Stop” happened, and nothing was ever the same. There was never really any opportunities for Taeyong to keep Ten all to himself because his company kept under promoting this boy. This amazing boy who deserved more than what his company gave him. Ten had everything: talent, looks, charisma. Well, Taeyong had that too but Ten had a different aura to him.

Indeed, they were both like water and fire. Taeyong’s impact was like wildfire - seeping swiftly and spreading quickly, but Ten was like water - he was a calm, subtle and smooth presence, and they wouldn’t know that Ten had already hit them. So, putting them together was a genius move on SM’s part. The sharp Taeyong, and the smooth Ten. This was guaranteed to rake the wads of money in and to keep the fans well-fed.

Ten had changed so much over the years. There were still remnants of that cute little brother that Taeyong saw in him, but slowly that faded. Ten had become a different kind of mythological creature - a swan, perhaps? Not to say that he was an ugly duckling before, but he metamorphosed into a being that Taeyong could not describe with just simple words, and Taeyong could hardly resist him.

Every time he was with Ten, it was as if they were attached by the hip. He just won’t allow himself to be apart of the boy. Taeyong thinks that this would be the only time that they could be together, because he knows that once they are apart, they will never get the opportunity to be alone with each other like this anymore.

During dinners in Ukraine, Taeyong would hold Ten’s hand under the table, when he thinks no one was watching. This is a harmless thing, of course. Totally harmless. So it annoyed him so much when his poor little heart felt like leaping out when Ten would hold his hand back. They were brothers, right? Brothers do this.

They would laugh together, and take pictures together in the snow. It took Taeyong’s entire caliber of self-control not to ogle that Ten’s chest when they had to film the bridge part of the Baby Don’t Stop music video, wearing a coat with nothing inside. He tried to be subtle when Ten complained about being cold and he asked the staff for blankets immediately so the precious boy won’t ever feel any kind of discomfort. During moments alone together, Ten would comb his fingers over Taeyong’s red hair, and say that he looked just like a character from an anime he watched during his alone time.

After NCT 2018 promotions, seeing Ten was a rarity. They joked about Ten being stuck in the basement again, and Taeyong could not feel sadder. He wanted to show Ten off, to make Korea - no, the world, see that there is this talented boy who could do everything. He could dance, sing, play instruments, make art! There was nothing Ten couldn’t do, and Taeyong hated the fact that he was being kept in the so-called “basement.” The amount of talent this boy possessed was so powerful that SM wanted to keep him locked in, for releasing him would unleash a different kind of monster.

Yes, it was clear. Taeyong loved Ten. Taeyong loved Ten so much it’s a struggle to keep it in when the cameras are rolling. What if Ten did not feel the same way? What if Ten got creeped out with him? Though it is true, Ten was a bit of a flirt. Ten joked about the nasty things, that Taeyong tried to ignore. (How else was he going to respond to the _soft and sticky_ joke? He couldn’t. If he did respond to it, that would just make him much too obvious.) But then, one can be a flirt and totally not mean it. They could be a flirt for harmless fun, and perhaps that was what Ten was doing during those VLives. He was just… doing it for harmless fun.

Harmless fun indeed, but whenever Ten would show his eye dimples when he smiled, _god_ Taeyong wanted to kiss him so bad. Just pull him by the shirt and smash their lips together. If only the cameras weren’t rolling. But no, never. He would never. In South Korea, these things would never be acceptable. Lee Taeyong? NCT’s leader who exudes a manly bad boy image onstage, be into boys? The public would not have it. But then, he does not have to let it be known to the public.

Taeyong does not know exactly how they started kissing in private, but he could remember the first instance.

They were rehearsing for their fanmeeting in Bangkok, so they had to refresh their steps for Baby Don’t Stop. The staff had left them alone for the night, since they were already quite familiar with what they had to do. They could evaluate themselves well with only a full body mirror, so everything was okay. After Baby Don’t Stop, Ten made Taeyong evaluate his performance with New Heroes. As if Ten needed any evaluating.

“Stretch out more,” he said to Ten, “like flowing water, Ten.”

And so Ten did - his arms made waves like they were ribbons being swished around. Flexibility another one of Ten’s best points. While Taeyong looked at him, it felt as if dancing was Ten’s calling in life, like breathing.

Ten sang as he danced, and Taeyong found himself scanning Ten from head to toe. He was not wearing anything that would flatter him: just a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt, but Ten, being absolutely attractive, made it work. From the way the sweat dripped on the tips of his hair, to the way his neck veins would strain as he sang, then his fingertips  -- how they would contract and spread out according to the choreography. Ten was gorgeous in every sense of the word, and that multiplied whenever he would dance.

“Gorgeous,” Taeyong breathed out in English, when Ten finished his dance.

Ten shook off the sweat from his hair, then his twinkling eyes looked at Taeyong, and smiled.

“You think so, Hyung?” asked Ten, in English too.

It took Taeyong a few good seconds of staring at Ten before replying, “Don’t tease me with that. You know I can’t speak English well.”

“Aren’t you going to rehearse Around?”

Instead of saying something in return, Taeyong swung his arm around Ten’s shoulder, a bit tired but unable to resist the opportunity for skinship.

“Nah. I already rehearsed it earlier. Maybe I should walk you home.”

Ten tilted his head to the side so that their faces were on the same level with each other and only a small nudge apart. Taeyong could feel his heart about to burst out any second when Ten pinched his nose playfully.

“I am a grown man, Hyung, I can walk home on my own,” he replied as he slipped an arm around Taeyong’s waist in return.

The entire situation felt strangely intimate - their bodies pressed close together, their faces but a breath apart. It frightened Taeyong, but at the same time excited him. The atmosphere, the dimmed lights. He noticed that Ten’s phone was playing one of his acoustic songs on the speaker, which just added to the overall mood. Just the two of them in that rehearsal room. His eyes slithered down to Ten’s lips, but then his conscience crept up to him and made him look away.

What was he _doing_ , being creepy like this? Bros don’t do this to bros! Ten showed no sign of resistance, but figuring that the atmosphere had changed, he removed himself from Taeyong’s hold and started picking his bags up. Taeyong did the same, but to a slower extent.

“I’m still walking you home, though,” Taeyong murmured as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

The Thai boy gave a small smile, and finally allowed him to.

They walked together to the Dreamies’ dorm, where Ten was situated. The surroundings were quiet, but only because it was the middle of the night. Ten had told him once that there were times when the dorms would be so noisy, Ten couldn’t fall asleep at night because the boys were all playing their games. He’d yell, “shut up!” and the Dreamies would all keep quiet for a moment before being noisy yet again and that exasperated Ten so much. Taeyong laughed at the anecdote, not only because it was funny, but because he loved looking at Ten as he narrated it.

Once they had arrived at the dorm, Taeyong squeezed Ten’s hand.

“Are you ready for the fanmeeting?” he asked, not wanting to let Ten go.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Ten replied.

Again, Taeyong found himself looking at Ten’s lips, not realizing that he and Ten had gone completely silent. It was Ten who got shy this time, averting his eyes to look at the stone floor instead. Taeyong was at a loss on what to do, but they can’t just stay there in the cold.

“I… I guess I’ll go,” he said, to cut the thick air of tension. He shoved both his hands in his jacket pockets and turned on his heel. He began to walk away.

It took about ten steps forward before Ten stopped him.

“Hyung,” he said, “you can stay at my room. It’s cold and it’s late, and I’m not rooming with anyone anyway. I don’t think anyone will mind.”

Touched by the gesture, Taeyong smiled slightly at the boy. He can’t handle sharing a room with Ten _now_ , that’ll just drive him insane. Especially since they were already gonna share a room in Bangkok.

“You really don’t have to.”

“Well, I insist. Please, Hyung.”

The Thai boy extended the “hyung” a little so it sounded cuter, and he gave him that irresistible pout as well. How the hell can Taeyong refuse at this point? He chuckled and then followed Ten up to his dorm room. Indeed, all the Dreamies were asleep, since the dorms were dead silent. The sound of their footsteps bounced around the quiet halls, and Ten held Taeyong’s hand all the while.

When they finally entered Ten’s dorm room, it was dim and a bit messy. There were clothes that were thrown to the floor, and some candy wrappers scattered around. Ten’s bed was at least made, and his blanket was folded so at least that was arranged nicely. The room smelled vaguely of black tea, which he knows Ten is fond of.

“It’s a bit of a mess, sorry,” Ten said in English, picking up the discarded pieces of clothing and shoving them into his laundry basket. “Sit, please.”

Taeyong sat on the chair near the desk, and turned on the lamplight, so there was a little bit of illumination in the room. From his viewpoint, he could see Ten, and the boy was starting to undress. Which was a natural thing to do, of course - they were sweaty and he needed to change. This wasn’t anything special since the boys would undress in front of each other many times without them thinking it any kind of weird.

“Hyung?” When Ten spoke, his shirt was already gone and thrown into the laundry basket.

Taeyong pretended to give all his attention to the lamplight in front of him, not at Ten’s bare torso. Not at how attractive Ten was at the moment, not how luscious Ten’s lips looked with the dim lighting.

“Y-yeah?” Taeyong replied.

Ten walked over to Taeyong, and crouched down, hands on his knees, so he can look at the man. Ten had the most beautiful brown eyes that Taeyong had ever seen, but he couldn’t look at them for long lest he be reduced to a panicking baby.

“Hyung,” his voice was in a whisper now, which sent shivers down the Korean boy’s spine, “no one is looking. I… you know that I am not exactly the straightest pole out there.”

Oh, Taeyong knows that, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just act on his emotions that quickly.

“And… and if you want to kiss me… you can.” There. The Thai boy had put it in words. Perhaps he did want to kiss Ten.

Taeyong rose from the chair, and cupped Ten’s face, making him stand upright. He was only a few centimeters taller than this boy, but the height difference felt like everything to him at this moment. Ten, staring at him from below with those twinkling brown eyes, and Taeyong, gazing at him in return.

He doesn’t know who closed the distance first, but he knows for a fact that Ten is the one who moaned first, who slipped his tongue in first, and Taeyong wondered how long Ten had wanted this, or maybe he was just being delusional. Ten tried to sneak his hands under Taeyong’s shirt, and the latter giggles. He playfully tried to put the other boy’s hands in control by holding him by the wrist. Ten swiped his tongue across Taeyong’s lips in defeat, chuckling. Even the minimal lighting could not hide how crimson both their faces were.

They ended up on Ten’s bed after a few more minutes of kissing each other senseless, both shirtless but both too tired to do anything else. Taeyong stroked the back of the boy’s hair as Ten was picking a song to play on his speaker to set the mood more. Once he pressed play, the Thai boy went back to Taeyong’s side and kissed him on the nose.

“What song is this?” Taeyong asked, caressing Ten’s cheeks.

“Belong To You, by Sabrina Claudio,” Ten replied as he buried himself in Taeyong’s chest and closed his eyes.

Taeyong held the boy close, like he was holding something he would never ever want to lose. Then again, engaging in something like this: something so secret, something so private, would require a lot of hiding. A lot of lying. And now, Taeyong also runs the risk of losing Ten forever, if things go wrong. Of people spitting words of cruel hate. Just because two boys love each other…

_Love?_

_Do_ they love each other, even?

Ten slept there, in Taeyong’s arms that night.

The next morning was met with excited yells from the little ones, who were stunned to see Taeyong in their dorms with them. Ten claimed that Taeyong had to sleep over because it was late, which was technically true, but he left out a lot of parts that only the both of them knew.


	2. ii. may 31

The days leading to Bangkok were filled with secret kisses. Whenever they’d take a break from practice, Taeyong would lead Ten into the blind spot where the cameras wouldn’t see them, and kiss him senseless there. 

“N-not my neck,” Ten whispered during one of their little escapades, “that could leave a mark.”

How Taeyong wished he could leave a mark, to show the world that Ten was his, and his alone, but the life that Taeyong chose did not allow this. It did not allow Ten in it. No room for romance, and especially no room for same sex romance. This was the kind of forbidden love that Taeyong only saw in movies, and he did not think he would experience it in real life, with a person he used to see as a brother.  

When the door creaked open to the arrival of someone, Taeyong quickly stepped back, and Ten acted as if nothing happened at all. They went back to their rehearsals, pretending as though they weren’t all over each other just a few minutes ago. They danced and tried not to let the thought of kissing each other ruin their performances.  

To be perfectly honest, the both of them never really clarified what they were. Friends? Definitely. They were both chummy and they laughed together often. They depend on each other - so that means they’re friends. Are they anything beyond that? Well, they’ve kissed multiple times in different places, though in secret, but Ten never clarified anything, and since Ten asked if they wanted to talk about it, Taeyong just chose to ignore it altogether and go with the flow.  

The trip to Bangkok was heaven sent for the both of them. They were informed that they were to stay at the Athenee Hotel, which was a five-star luxury hotel. Ten has heard of this hotel, of course, and showed signs of mild excitement. Then, the manager proceeded to tell them that they were going to share one room together: the Athenee Suite.

One king sized bed. One bathroom. One living room. All to themselves. For Taeyong, paradise. 

They had planned to wear purple and white to Bangkok like in their May 29 Vlive. The audiences seemed to like that, so Taeyong thought why not. So, Ten wore a loose, lilac- colored long sleeved shirt on the plane ride while he matched it with a white Gucci shirt. They had planned to be purple and white for at least the next few days to keep the fans guessing, but it was actually just to poke a bit of fun of them. In truth, Taeyong just loved Ten in purple, and Ten liked himself in purple as well. 

On the flight, they took that break time to sleep. Taeyong brought with him a neck pillow: essential for travel but Ten had his head on Taeyong’s shoulder for most of the flight, and their hands were laced together, since that was acceptable “bro” activity… holding hands. If they were anything like brothers, anyway. Sometimes Taeyong would draw hearts on the back of Ten’s hand while the boy was asleep, since he couldn’t find any strength to sleep, despite his own exhaustion. Just before the plane landed, Taeyong placed a small kiss on Ten’s knuckles, unable to resist him.

Bangkok’s welcome was warm - they had a multitude of fans waiting for them at the airport which always made Taeyong happy. He saw cameras from every side, some of Ten’s fansites, some of his, snapping away. Their manager just told them to walk, for they had a busy schedule ahead of them: radio show appearances, photoshoots, interviews, and all that. It was a hectic day for the both of them.

They were brought into their van, so finally they both had some peace and quiet.

“Hyung,” Ten pulled down his mask and whispered as he scooted close to the elder.

“Yeah?”

“Are you excited to see our hotel room?”

With that, Taeyong chuckled. “I am, are you?”

“I can’t wait to cuddle.” Ten smiled mischievously.

“Me too,” Taeyong said and wrapped his arm around Ten’s waist, almost possessively. Ten only made a pleased humming sound in return.

The van stopped in front of the hotel. Taeyong did not have much time to stop and admire the view of the hotel, but the entire lobby was spacious and luxurious. Something out of a Korean drama about rich people and their frivolities. The ceiling was high, adorned by dazzling chandeliers, and there were glass windows everywhere. 

The pair were told to follow the manager to their hotel room. Taeyong was not able to hear where the manager was going to stay, but he knows that it’ll be close to their room. He wondered why their company just bought a hotel room that had two beds instead of one, but perhaps they thought that Ten and Taeyong trusted each other enough to share a room and a bed, which was true - they were. Only this time, sleeping won’t be the only thing they’d be doing on that bed.

Not that Taeyong was thinking about anything like that.  _ Definitely  _ not.

They were told to freshen up and change quickly as soon as they arrived at the doorstep of their hotel, and after that their manager had left them to themselves. To say that the suite chosen for them was amazing was an understatement. The suite had a huge bathroom, but not only that: a separate bathtub, plus a rain shower. A fantastic view of Bangkok. A chaise lounge, a 48-inch TV, and a king sized bed. The ambiance was perfect for Taeyong, and he hoped it was just as perfect for Ten.

He looked at the boy after drinking in his surroundings, then he held Ten’s hand.

“I could live here forever,” Ten said, still stunned at everything.

“I wish we could,” the elder replied, stepping towards and nuzzling his nose against Ten’s neck. The boy giggles in response and gently pushes Taeyong away.

“Let’s check out our bed,” said the younger, pulling Taeyong by the arm towards the room where their bed was.

To their surprise, they found a bouquet of white roses, as well as some red roses scattered on the bed. Not only that, but cute towels folded so they looked like elephant. Whoever arranged this room must have thought that the couple staying here was married, that Taeyong found a little funny. 

“I’ll get to the shower now, Hyung,” Ten said, not even pausing to look at what was on the bed before them. 

Being the neat freak that he was, Taeyong moved the items from the bed and placed them on the bedside table. He left the roses there, because he thought that it suited the red accents that their entire suite was trying to give. As Ten turned on the shower, Taeyong did not know what to do next, since he definitely did not want to imagine his…  _ something _ wet and naked in the shower, no. So instead he went to the TV and turned it on to distract himself from the sounds of water. The television turned on to show at some puppies happily playing with each other, which was enough for Taeyong to calm down a little. It was only a matter of time before their stylists would come in and start fussing over their hair and clothing for the different events they had to attend to today. 

When Ten emerged from the shower, he smelled like roses. Perhaps it was the shower gel that the hotel provided, or the scent of roses that pervaded the entire room, but the scent was strong. The younger’s hair was still slightly wet from the shower, and his skin was glowing. Taeyong did not know if that was because of the Bangkok sunshine emitting from the windows, or just Chittaphon being absolutely stunning.

“What are you staring at, Hyung?” Ten teased as he rubbed his hair with a smaller towel.  

The elder shook his head, trying to hide a smile. Taeyong stood up and removed his cap so he could start getting ready for his shower too. As he passed by Ten, he gave the boy a playful swat on the butt. Ten swished his head around, surprised.

“Aren’t you at least gonna give me a kiss?” The younger whined.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Taeyong spun on his heel and instantly wrapped his arm around Ten’s waist. The younger smiled, satisfied, as their lips met once again. Ten’s skin was still wet, indeed, which made their embrace a little slippery. Ten dragged his tongue over Taeyong’s lips before letting it slip between the elder’s slightly open mouth. Taeyong returned the passion, but he had to come back to his senses.

“Mmh, Ten,” sighed Taeyong against the boy’s mouth, “I need to take a shower.” 

He could physically feel Ten smiling, even when he couldn’t see. “Then you should have taken a shower with me, dummy.” 

At a loss for what to reply, he kisses Ten one more time before heading over to the bathroom. As expected it was splendid, filled with mirrors from left to right, with a large bathtub in the middle. Taeyong took his shower quickly, and a bit cold too, so he could wake up and remove unholy thoughts of Ten from his mind. 

After Taeyong took his shower, Ten was waiting on the chaise lounge, dressed up in simple clothing, ready for the time when their stylists would come in and start preparing them for the day to come. Taeyong proceeded to dress himself in a shirt and some shorts too before meeting Ten in the living room. The boy was watching a YouTube video through the TV, and instead of saying anything, Taeyong laid his head on the boy’s lap, and closed his eyes. Their pinky fingers were linked together.

It wasn’t long until his moment of peace was interrupted by knocking on their door. The manager called from the other side, and said that the stylists were already there to help them get ready. Taeyong let out a small groan, he did not want to get up from this small world he and Ten had created, but he knew he also had responsibilities. Priorities that he had set for himself. His feelings for this boy will not get in the way of his dreams and ambitions, he told himself once.

He got up and answered the door to which a swarm of stylists and makeup artists went inside their suite. Well, perhaps another reason why their company chose such a huge suite was because of the potential amount of people who would be busy inside it. Taeyong already had a number of stylists, and so did Ten. The room that once contained only the both of them was now crowded with people.

They were dressed in purple and white, as they requested. Ten was Taeyong’s sweet little lilac, the man that Taeyong wanted to dote on and take care of. He wanted to be there for Ten all the time, to hold him whenever he’d get scared, to love him whenever he felt unloved. Perhaps there was a better person out there for Ten, Taeyong will not deny that, as of now, he wants to keep Ten in his arms. His beloved Chittaphon. 

Outside the hotel, they were met by yet another storm of their fans who were screaming as they passed by. Most of these fans were Ten’s, since the boy was already a famous personality in Thailand even during his pre-debut days. Ten was always such a presence. Whenever he’d walk in a room, everyone would turn their heads to look at him, that was the kind of man Ten was. Well, at least to Taeyong. 

They were quickly escorted to the respective radio stations where they were scheduled. It was a quick guesting, only about half an hour. They played a portion of Baby Don’t Stop Special Thai Version on the speakers. Taeyong had heard the version before, during their rehearsals, but the official version sounded clean and clear. Ten’s voice was like melting chocolate, especially now that he was singing in Thai. 

During one of the radio guestings they had, there were little stuffed toys on the seats which they had to lift up in order to be seated properly. Ten had the heart shaped one with hands at the sides, and Taeyong got the bunny. In a subtle move, while it was the music break, Ten made the small heart hand reach out to touch his sleeve. Taeyong smiled at the tiny hand, then at Ten. His heart grew warmer with every second he’s with this boy. He was used to these kinds of interviews, the exposure, everything, but for some reason there’s a different sense of relaxation that he felt when he’s with Ten. Back in the van, he and Ten were holding hands. The elder never wanted to take them off, but alas they had to return to the real world.

They had a little bit of time left to take a break before preparing for the radio show, so they chose to rest at their hotel and have their food served there. They had some pad thai, which Ten requested with Thai tea, which Taeyong personally requested. They wanted to rest at the hotel and chill for a little bit, just with themselves. This would usually just constitute eating, and taking a nap beside each other. 

The food arrived in around half an hour. Taeyong arranged the food around the dining table inside their suite. Ten helped a little with that. Taeyong brought out the needed utensils and placed them on the table before taking his cup of Thai tea stabbing the straw into the plastic so he could start sipping.

“You know your tummy will hurt if you drink that with an empty stomach, Hyung,” Ten said, slipping himself in Taeyong’s arms. Such a clingy baby, this boy was.

“I’ve been craving this since forever,”

“I know.” 

The younger went up on his tiptoes and placed a small kiss under Taeyong’s eye, where his scar was. Taeyong removed his lips from the straw then went to nuzzle a small smooch where his lips would naturally land from his current position: on the forehead.  

“Maybe we should eat now? Before we’re called in for our next schedule?” Taeyong asked, being the responsible adult that he was.

Ten nodded at that. As Taeyong observed the boy’s actions, the more he realized how hard Ten was to decode. He wondered what Ten truly felt for him, but diving into questions like that scared him. Perhaps that was all they were - friends who loved on each other through kisses, but for Ten there was nothing romantic in that. It was just… kissing and fun flirting and nothing more.

They ate in silence after that, and chose to spend the rest of their free time watching videos on YouTube. They would lie down on each other’s laps and switch places from time to time, but they never spent more than a few minutes apart. Taeyong at least feels that Ten wants to spend the most time he can with him, which makes him glad because at least his affections aren’t entirely one-sided. It wasn’t long until they were called in for the radio show. They were going to be DJ’s, and this was Ten’s first time. 

“Hyung.” Ten leaned in closer to the elder to whisper in his ear while they were in the van.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really nervous.”

Not wanting to waste any second, Taeyong clasped Ten’s hand tight. The boy’s gaze shifted from Taeyong’s face to their clasped hands. 

“Don’t be, you’re going to be amazing,” Taeyong whispered into Ten’s hair. 

The younger heaved a heavy sigh and rested his head on Taeyong’s shoulder all the way to the radio station.  

Perhaps it was all just Taeyong’s bias towards Ten, but he thought the boy did a wonderful job. Ten had this natural humorousness. His personality was bright, which would be perfect on hosting shows like these, and VLives, so Taeyong never worried for Ten one bit. Ten was made to be a star, inside and out. In fact, it was Ten who filled in most of the silences. 

It was perhaps close to one in the morning when they finally got home from their small DJ guesting. To say that they were exhausted was common but nonetheless true. They barely had any energy to do anything else but sleep.  

“Let’s just change, brush our teeth and go to sleep,” the elder told Ten. 

Ten stretched his arms upwards and let out a loud yawn, nodding all the while. There was nothing cuter than a sleepy Ten, Taeyong noted mentally.  

They went to the expansive bathroom that the hotel provided for them, filled with golden walls. The mirror was unnecessarily tall, it spanned half the wall. They both brought out their hygiene pouches which contained their own toothbrushes and toothpastes, which their dentists had provided. 

Taeyong took out his toothbrush, and slabbed the toothpaste on top of the brushes. He turned the ON button, then put the whirring toothbrush in his mouth so it could work its magic. Ten followed soon after, bumping into Taeyong playfully before readying his own toothbrush.

Soon enough, it had turned into a game of whose teeth would end up the whitest after brushing. Taeyong would admit that Ten had perfect teeth - straight, and well-maintained, but Taeyong’s was not so far behind. Ten loved to show off his teeth too, so that’s why he loved so smile so much. And Taeyong loved that, of course, because he loved seeing Ten smile. 

After they had rinsed their mouths and wiped their lips dry with paper towels, Ten reached for his phone. He went to his favorite music app, and scrolled down to pick a song. It was a popular Western rap song they both knew well, and they were both jamming to it, bobbing their heads as they both started to religiously perform their skin care regimens. 

“You know, I love Kendrick Lamar,” Taeyong said as he was applying toner. It was his playlist that was playing this time. 

“I’m not really one for hip hop,” the younger answered as he was shaking his shoulders to the trap beat, “but this is sick.”

Unable to resist the boy in front of him, Taeyong drew Ten closer by the waist and kissed him on the hair. Then, he pressed kisses on Ten’s ear piercings one by one. He felt the boy shudder in his arms as he did so. 

“Ten… I-”

Before Taeyong could even continue, Ten spun around swiftly on his heel so their chests were pressed together. The younger’s index finger was pressed gingerly on Taeyong’s lips. The only sound that could be heard was the rustling of their clothes. 

“Don’t say anything,” Ten whispered, as if sighing a secret prayer. 

“Okay,” Taeyong said. 

He nudged his face towards Ten’s, like an invitation. The younger grazed the elder’s lips, to tease him. Taeyong returned the teasing with a soft kiss. Ten fought back with a peck that was barely even felt. 

They both ended up giggling all the way to the bed, where they decided to continue their little kissing escapades. Ten had his acoustic songs playing on his phone. Taeyong had discarded his shirt along the way, and he had allowed Ten to shower his body in kisses, careful not to leave any marks. 

“I never want to leave,” Taeyong whispered against Ten’s lips. 

Ten did not reply, but simply seized Taeyong’s lips with his. Hungry for something, for love? For physical affection? Taeyong did not know, but at this point, all he wanted to do was to provide. 

They lied beside each other, facing one another. The elder traced Ten’s jawline with his fingers, unable to stop staring at the beauty before him. He hopes Ten’s parents knew what an absolutely gorgeous being their Chittaphon was. 

Taeyong curled forward and dipped his head on Ten’s shoulder. His eyes were drooping already, the exhaustion finally acting up on his body. Ten’s phone played a soft song that just added to Taeyong’s sleepiness. He was half-asleep when he heard Ten singing...

_ “Blessed be the mystery of love…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song at the end is another song that ten recommended in a fansign, "mystery of love" by sufjan stevens. ten is the king of song recommendations.


	3. iii. june 1

There was nothing more beautiful in the world to Lee Taeyong than waking up with Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul in his arms. His breath still smelled dry but that did not hold him back from kissing Ten on the forehead as soon as he woke up.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” Taeyong murmured in Ten’s ear.

Ten woke up to a flurry of kisses, and let out a huge grin when he sneaked a peek with his eyes. He pinched Taeyong’s nose in retaliation, and they both were laughing, even when there was nothing really hilarious. 

“Shut up,” he teased. 

They rolled around in bed like children playing in the winter, only this time they had fluffy bed sheets instead of snow. Ten pinned Taeyong down on the bed, his hands pressing onto the elder’s shoulders. Ten’s necklace of two rings hung off his neck and jingled ever so slightly that it caught Taeyong’s attention. He raised his fingers to touch it, but immediately Ten drew back, clasping his rings. 

“Why are you so protective of that?”

Ten shook his head, not wanting to answer. Taeyong was feeling particularly curious today, though.

“You always wear it, you never let go of it unless our stylists absolutely insists.”

“It looks good around my neck,” the younger replied with a shrug, still holding on to the necklace.

“That I agree with but…” 

“Don’t push it, Hyung.”

That put Taeyong’s nosiness to a halt. Perhaps he shouldn’t have asked. That necklace always seemed to be so important for Ten - he never takes it off, even while he sleeps he still has that necklace on. Who do those rings belong to, then? Surely, they must have been given to him by someone important. Perhaps a family member. Or perhaps a past lover that Ten can never get over, and that necklace is the only thing that kept them attached to each other.

Or perhaps Taeyong was overthinking it. Why was he even thinking about it? Ten wasn’t his, Ten was never his to begin with. 

He watched from behind as Ten hopped off from the bed and started stretching. The awkward air of silence loomed between them. Taeyong didn’t know how to fill in the conversation, and he did not know how to start his apology, but still he tried.

“Tennie,” he spoke.

Ten turned around with a blank expression on his face. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry.” Taeyong bowed his head and folded his hands together.

Ten lodged his knee on the soft bed so he can lean closer to Taeyong. Then, he pressed a soft kiss on the man’s forehead. Taeyong returned that with a small peck on the boy’s chin, then another. And another, until the elder had reached the top of Ten’s neck. The younger was trying to hold back a smile as Taeyong’s kisses went lower. 

“Hyung,” Ten mewled, “you think this is an acceptable apology?” 

“I’m so fucking close to giving you a hickey right here.” Taeyong dragged his tongue flat down Ten’s neck to his collarbone. There, he started circling his tongue, threatening to bite every time his teeth would hit skin. If only Ten could take off that necklace, it could give him more space to kiss. He tugged a little at the string to test his waters, but this only ended with Ten pushing him away.

“Hyung.” Ten huffed and walked away from the man.

Taeyong flopped back on the bed, putting his hands over his eyes, cursing himself many times mentally. Maybe he pushed Ten over the edge with this. He rose from the bed after a few moments and began to freshen up in the bathroom. 

After the water filled in the tub, he submerged his body in it, to give himself some peace of mind. He leaned his head on the edge of the bathtub and stared at the high ceiling. 

He wondered what Ten must be thinking now. He began to wash himself, rubbing his soapy hands all over his body and dived his head to wet his hair too. He would probably smell like irresistible vanilla once he comes out of the bathroom. 

He concluded that Ten was in the dining area, making coffee for himself with the Illy coffee machine the suite had provided for them, since he heard the whirring of it. He connected Spotify onto the huge TV they had and played some soft morning music, maybe to calm his mood down.

Taeyong emerged from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist, too lazy to bundle himself up in a bathrobe. He couldn’t find Ten in the bedroom, so he concluded he would still be in the living room, refusing to talk to him.

“Tennie?” Taeyong called as he strolled around their suite.

He found Ten seated on the chaise lounge, fiddling with his phone.

“Ten -”

“...If you’re going to talk to me at least dress yourself. I’m gonna take a shower.”

Ten stood up without as much as glancing at Taeyong’s face. The elder still heard the soft jingle of the rings on Ten’s neck, and the wondering drove him crazy, but he had to keep it to himself. The elder was left alone in the dining area. Without anything to do, he just thought to make himself coffee, while Ten was in the bathroom. 

The coffee brewed itself pretty quickly, so this gave Taeyong a bit of time to stare out at the wide window of their suite and think of ways to apologize to Ten. He wondered if they had time to visit some places in Bangkok, but then if they did that, they’d be followed around by the media. Plus the suspicions it could raise, Ten and Taeyong strolling together... Their manager would not allow that either, but hell, he wanted to buy Ten something. 

Like… a ring.

Okay, for one, Taeyong cannot navigate in Bangkok at all without a companion. Going out alone would be a terrible idea. Perhaps he can bring someone from the staff with him, but he knows his mere presence would set people off. He’d be crowded in with fans, no matter how much he would try to cover himself up with masks or caps or what not. 

God, he just wanted to see Ten happy. Ten’s smile was the most priceless thing in the world, and Taeyong knew that very well. He went inside their bedroom, and looked at the bouquet of flowers that was given to them. Their staff had placed the flowers in a vase so that they wouldn’t wilt that quickly. He stared at the different flowers, and wondered how exactly could he brighten up Ten’s day. 

He heard the faucet in the bathtub going off, meaning Ten going to use the bathtub. He looked at the flowers, then back to the door of the bathroom. Then, he took a two red roses and plucked them out of the arrangement. 

“Tennie?” He asked, standing in front of the bathroom door.

A moment of silence, before he answered, “Yes?”

“Can I come inside?”  

“...Why? You’ve already bathed, and I do hope you’re fully dressed.”

“Please? I wanted to make up for what I did. Can I at least wash your hair, or something?” 

There was thirty seconds of silence before Taeyong decided to give up and get dressed for the day, but just as he was about to turn his heel, the door to the bathroom opened. He was greeted with a barely clad Ten with his lower body covered, like he did. 

“You’re gonna wash my hair  _ and  _ my back,” Ten demanded before pulling Taeyong by the arm into the bathroom. 

Ten shut the door behind them and made Taeyong turn around so he won’t be able to see the boy entirely bare before he sunk himself into the bathtub. The younger hugged his knees to himself, before looking at Taeyong with his big, beady brown eyes. Taeyong was still holding the roses in his hands before he picked the flower petals apart one by one and spreading them over the water.

The younger chuckled a little.

“What is this, you romantist?”

Taeyong sat down in front of the tub and combs the front of Ten’s hair back, unable to resist a giggle. 

“I thought it’d look nice,” the elder said, looking at Ten’s face.

The younger pressed his knees closer to him, then he sheepishly glanced at Taeyong from beyond his wet bangs. 

“...This thing is big enough for the both of us.”

Taeyong slid his hands along the railing of the bathtub, observing Ten’s knees atop the water. Then, he sneaks a hand on the boy’s kneecap, warming his hand there.

“Can we talk here?” Taeyong asked as he drew circles on the boy’s wet skin.

Ten nodded before stretching his legs out in the tub. Then, he turned to the side to face Taeyong. His arms were set on the bathtub’s edge, his chin rested on them. 

“I’d appreciate it if we don’t talk about those rings at all, Hyung,” he murmured.

Taeyong nodded, then he leaned over to meet Ten’s face with his. “If I gave you one of my own, would you add it to your collection?”

With that, Ten chuckled, and pinched Taeyong’s nose.

“I might. Now, will you join me or not?” 

Taeyong did not give it a second thought before he unravelled the towel around his waist and jumped inside the bathtub with Ten. The water was still pretty warm, thankfully, and when he jumped in, the splash went to the younger’s face.

“Hey!” Ten complained.

Then, he took a handful of water and tossed it over to Taeyong’s direction. Soon there was a splashing match between the boys, until they were both entirely wet and the bathtub had only half the remaining water left. Within the extent of that splashing match, Taeyong had drawn closer to Ten, not yet realizing that they were both completely naked in front of each other.

Ten had locked his knees on Taeyong’s sides, and only then did Taeyong start to realize how bare and vulnerable they both were to each other. This was not the first time he had seen Ten naked, they showered together many times before, nor was this the first time Ten had seen  _ him _ naked, but this experience felt new. As if this was a new sight before him.

Taeyong’s breath was heavier now, a little bit shy, but a lot hungry. Perhaps it was because they did not have proper breakfast, or the sight of Ten in this state tempted him too much. He puts his palm on Ten’s milky white chest.

“Taeyong-hyung,” Ten whispered, a sneaky smirk emerging on his lips, “my hair…”

The elder playfully clicked his tongue after suddenly being reminded of his task at hand. He took a bottle of shampoo that was close to the bathtub and poured a dollop of it onto his hand. Then he lathered it onto Ten’s hair, massaging his scalp gently.

He played around with Ten’s hair a bit, forming different shapes while he hums a tune that he made up. Meanwhile, the younger seemed to be admiring Taeyong’s face. 

Taeyong kept washing Ten’s hair. He loved this, actually, taking care of the younger. He wanted to do this all the time. To be domestic and loving and cheesy and mushy. He wanted to share bathtubs with Ten more often. He wanted to be alone with Ten more often.

He rinsed off Ten’s hair afterward, then looked at the boy with a small smile, before landing his head on the other’s shoulder. They were both still very naked and exposed and Taeyong’s heart just won’t sit still. Ten slid his arms around Taeyong with his knees still locked around the man. 

“We could go to Paris, the both of us,” whispered Taeyong, out of the blue, as he buried his nose on the boy’s neck. 

His arms were tight around his waist, so he could feel Ten’s body rising and falling with every breath. 

“We could,” the younger replied, as he put a hand between Taeyong’s shoulder blades, warming them there.

“Or we could go to the beach. You want that, right? Just the both of us. With no one else around us. No schedules, no managers, no stylists, no one. Just you and me, Ten.”

“We could go to Disneyland!”

“I could take you there. We could kiss on the ferris wheel, and scream together on the rides.”

“We could act like a real couple.”

With that, Taeyong looked up and then stared into the boy’s deep brown eyes.

“What did you say?” 

“Like… a real couple.” 

Taeyong paused for a moment, to drink in Ten’s facial expression. He wanted to make absolutely sure that Ten was serious, that he was not messing around with his feelings. Ten would flirt, yes, but it would only be harmless flirting, but this? This felt different. Almost like Ten really did want more out of what they had. 

“That’s what I want too, Ten,” Taeyong sighed out before leaning forward to kiss the boy.

His attempt at seduction was interrupted by a ring on the doorbell. Then another. Followed by a succession of knocks. Ten and Taeyong scrambled out of that bathtub. They scampered to the bedroom to get themselves dried up and dressed in less than a few minutes before opening the door.

It was the manager, and with the manager was Ten’s mother, holding a bunch of paper bags and boxes.

“Ma!” Ten ran over and pulled his mother into a tight hug. 

“Ah! Ten! You’re all wet!” The mother remarked, but pulled her son into a huge hug in return.

Taeyong stood there awkwardly but he politely smiled at Ten’s mother. They had been introduced before, the last time they went to Bangkok.

“Hello, ma’am,” said Taeyong, waving at the woman.

Ten’s mother flipped her head to Taeyong’s direction, and went to hug her son’s Korean friend as well. It was heartwarming how loving Ten’s mother was, Taeyong almost felt like family.

Then, the mother started going on about how grand the suite was. She and Ten were having a conversation in Thai, that poor Taeyong could not understand. She motioned Taeyong to come closer and said, in English, that she had brought snacks for the both of them. Taeyong replied with a smile and a “thank you” in his heavily accented Thai.

One by one, the mother brought out a whole flurry of cake slices of different types and flavors. The boys’ eyes sparkled with glee. Desserts! And this was perfect, since they did not have proper breakfast before. Once Ten’s mom had set the snacks onto the dining table, she also took out the plastic forks that they could use. 

“There!” she said, clapping her hands as if dusting them off, “dig in, boys.” 

The couple thanked her in unison before sitting down on the seats. They picked up their forks and started to decide which one they will choose to eat first. Ten picked the chocolate cake slice, and Taeyong chose the one that was unfamiliar to him: it was not a cake, but some kind of dessert with small colorful balls floating on top of some kind of milk.    

Taeyong pointed to the dish and asked Ten, “What is this?”

“ _ Bua Loi! _ ” Ten said brightly, which made Taeyong’s ears go a bit red from how adorable he was. Then, realizing that Taeyong still doesn’t know what that is he further explained, “That’s coconut milk and glutinous rice balls. It’s super yummy.”

Nodding, he took Ten’s word for it and scooped a good bit of the dessert. His eyes brightened up as he was eating it. It was sweet, indeed, and he loved sweet things. He was definitely in the right mood for this kind of saccharine indulgence. He twisted his head a little so he could look at Ten’s mother from behind him. 

“This is delicious,” he said to her, in the best English he could muster.  

The mother smiled in return, and patted Taeyong’s head, lovingly. 

“I’m glad,” she replied. 

After a few minutes of watching her son and his friend eat their cakes in silence, she decided to leave them on their own. Ten whined about it, since he doesn’t get to see his mother that often anymore and now she only showed up for not even an hour. Taeyong protested as well, though his mouth was full of cake. Even if he wants to be alone with Ten, he cannot be selfish. He wants to see Ten happy, too.

Ten’s mother explained that she had other engagements today and that she was not allowed to stay in their room for long. Then, she and Ten had a conversation in Thai. Taeyong heard her voice - it was almost cracking. Was she crying? Taeyong did not dare pry, so he kept on eating his dessert. When it was time for her to go, they both saw her out the door. Ten hugged her one more time, before finally saying goodbye to her. 

Before they could go back to each other, though, their manager had given them a folder, which contained the questions and the flow for the upcoming fanmeeting and fansign. These “cheat sheets” could at least help them curate their answers so that no one could suspect anything of them. They could be as heterosexual as they needed, so long as they stuck to the script that they both wrote and consented to. 

Then, they were both finally alone with each other, and the desserts. 

Taeyong slipped his hand in Ten’s, so that their fingers were laced together. He led the younger back to their dining table where the snacks remained uneaten. Ten was quiet all the while, as if holding back something.

“Tennie?” Taeyong asked as he made the boy sit on his chair, “you okay?”

Ten nodded once, then twice, then after the third time, he began to sniff, but he quickly wiped the drip from his nose with his sleeve. He shook his head like he was telling Taeyong that this was not a big deal. But, unbeknownst to him, anything that makes Ten do anything but smile is a big deal to Taeyong. He reaches out to caress the younger’s cheek a bit.

“You’re allowed to cry, you know.”

The younger one shook off the tears again and hid them in a forced, toothy smile. Taeyong sighed, a bit helpless. To try to lift the mood, he cut a piece of the chocolate cake that Ten was eating from and points it at Ten’s mouth. Ten enclosed the fork with his mouth and ate the cake off the end of it, but there remained a little bit of frosting on his lip.

“You got a little something there,” Taeyong hovered his finger over the frosting on Ten’s lips to wipe it off.

When Taeyong looked up, Ten was laughing and shaking his head at him.

“You’re not smooth, Hyung, not smooth at all.”  

Taeyong was about to ask a question when Ten suddenly pulls him by the shirt and kisses him. He tasted of chocolates and creamy frosting and… salt? He heard Ten shudder slightly, but he knows it was not because of pleasure. He reached over to touch Ten’s cheek and there he could feel a dampness. The elder pulls the younger closer to him by the hip and makes Ten sit on his lap as they are kissing. 

There was desperation in their kisses his time, a hunger that Taeyong knews he, nor any number of cakes, cannot satiate. He did not know what Ten’s mother had told him, nor did he think that Ten will ever tell him anything about his life, but he knew one thing: he will be there for Ten, no matter what. Even if it is just to mask his sadness.

Eventually, they stopped kissing, and went to work on their interview questions. Ten, however, was still sitting comfortably on Taeyong’s lap, like a spoiled baby. He was the one writing the answers down, since he was closer to the table.

There weren’t too many questions, and some that could be easily answered without even thinking of the lies they could conjure up. There were questions about Baby Don’t Stop, about inspiration, about their favorite things in Thailand. Those were easy. Then there was Taeyong’s least favorite question: “How would you describe your relationship?”

Taeyong pointed to the question at hand, and asks it to Ten out loud. The younger boy leaned backward with a hum, so his back would be touching Taeyong’s chest. The elder clasps his hands over Ten’s tummy, still looking for an answer.

“Well?” Taeyong asked.

“I don’t know, how would you?”

Taeyong shifted in his seat a little. “I used to see you as a little brother that I want to protect, back when we were trainees. You were always so bright and cheerful, but at the same time I wanted to keep you from harm because you seem like the type to jump in to danger headfirst.”

“‘Used to?’ What made you change your mind?”

“Well… you grew up, and then we started kissing. I concluded a long time ago that kissing is not exactly the most brotherly thing to do.”

“It isn’t. At all.” A giggle from Ten. “Do you want to know my answer, Hyung?”

Taeyong nodded.

“You’re an inspiration to me. Every day I wake up and think, “What can I do to be like Taeyong-hyung?” You’re like a teacher to me, and sometimes like a brother too. But… strangely, Hyung, you’re much more to me now. Now, you’re… someone that I want.”

The elder reached up to tilt Ten’s chin towards him, lips curling into a shy smile. 

“I’m… the same, Tennie. I’m all the same.”

They spent the rest of the day alone together: watching movies; singing badly together; dancing together; kissing together; feeding each other cakes. All of these, with each other, because they both know they don’t have much time left. This was the most they could do to have fun.

Especially since tomorrow was their last night in Bangkok. 


	4. iv. june 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter was unexpectedly _long_ skdfds 
> 
> forgive me for any inaccuracies. this is where the self-indulgence really jumped out. mostly just ten and taeyong being very lovey-dovey with each other, which i am very much into.

The struggle to remove their intertwined limbs in the morning was true and acknowledged. Taeyong and Ten slept with their arms around each other again with only their bare bodies, spent from the love they made the night before. It was past midnight when they decided they would act on their passions, especially since they thought they would have no time for it the next day.

The experience was a first for the both of them, so it was awkward, a little hesitant and a lot fumbly, but they were laughing and enjoying themselves, which was the most important part. Ten collapsed next to Taeyong after they had climaxed. His index finger was running tired circles in the middle of Taeyong’s chest. Taeyong’s thumb was gliding back and forth on Ten’s back. They spoke “good night” to each other in sleepy, drowsy voices.

Ten was fast asleep, and Taeyong made sure of that, when he told him he loved him.

It was just about seven in the morning, and they were already being swarmed by the staff and stylists that they needed for today. They scurried to dress themselves decently before the staff entered the room. They barely had any time to be mushy before their manager knocked on their locked bedroom door to remind them that today and tomorrow were big days in their visit to Bangkok. Today was the fansign, which meant that Taeyong and Ten had to be absolutely gorgeous, since they were seeing fans up close.

The makeup artists were meticulous, making sure that no single flaw was visible in their already near flawless faces. They patted on the BB cream, some lip gloss. The both of them were quite used to this routine. Ten and Taeyong were seated back to back as their makeup artists did their magic, but in a sneaky move, Ten snuck his hand out so he and Taeyong could link pinkies. The elder acted oblivious, but humored Ten, hoping that the makeup artists would just see this as brotherly activity.

Ten was dressed in a flowy white shirt that was slightly unbuttoned at the top, showing of his perfect chest. The shirt was accented by a dark blue blazer, and matching pants. He was wearing the rings on his neck again. His ears were lined with earrings from each side. They added edge to Ten’s fluffy charm. Meanwhile, Taeyong was dressed simply: in a long sleeved shirt and pants.  

“How do I look, Hyung?” Ten walked up to him and swooped his hand down the front edges of his jacket.

“You look like a billion won.”

He surveyed Ten from head to toe with a hand on his chin, pleased. The staff was discussing something in the dining area, so Ten and Taeyong were left alone to themselves. Then, Taeyong fished out his phone from his pocket to open his camera app.

“Stand there,” he pointed to the window close to the balcony they had in their suite. Taeyong unlatched the door to let himself out, so he could take picture of Ten from the outside. The sunlight that streamed into the room made Ten look like a glowing god in his camera. “Strike a pose for me, baby.”

“Baby?” Ten blushed a little, easing a smile, before standing in between the frame of the window. Taeyong took a picture quickly, dazzled.  

“Yes, baby. Now stand back a bit, because I think I’m about to fall over here.” The elder said with a cheeky grin. His back was pressed against the balcony railing, and he was hoping that he won’t fall or lose his balance from how beautiful his lover was being.

“You called me baby,” Ten murmured, giddy, before changing his expression entirely and striking another pose for the photographer before him.

Taeyong kept taking pictures of Ten and giving the boy compliments every time he would change his pose, like a “Wonderful!” or a “Perfect!” or “Ah, my baby! So handsome!” He wanted to take pictures of Ten all day, wearing the most beautiful and expensive clothes, and maybe soon enough wearing nothing at all. He showed Ten the pictures that he took, and the boy laughed.

“I look like Christian Grey,” he said, pointing to the photos.

Taeyong threw a mischievous grin towards the younger. “Who am I, then? Anastasia Steele?”

Shaking his head, Ten said, “You are my Taeyong, and I am your Ten.”

Taeyong suddenly flashed back to the night before, and his face was a red flush. After throwing a glance at the doorway to see that no one else was coming or watching them, Ten drew closer to Taeyong and pressed a myriad of soft kisses on the side of the elder’s neck. Taeyong, unable to resist him, pulls Ten closer by the waist to deepen his neck kisses. His other hand was playing with ends of Ten’s hair as the younger boy kept kissing his skin.

Suddenly, Ten stopped himself from pressing kisses on Taeyong’s neck. Then, he bounced over to the bed and striked a pose on it, careful not to crumple the clothes that the stylists so meticulously ironed out. He sprawled himself out on his back.

“Take a picture of me like this,” Ten said, his face already tilted to the side to expose his sharp side profile. He was propped up on his elbow, emoting. A picture like that? On the bed they made love on? Taeyong complied, since he loved to spoil Ten sometimes.

“Ah! Don’t mess up with bed with your shoes,” Taeyong warned - the bedsheets were a bright white, and he wouldn’t be able to rest well if there were dirty marks on their duvet. Then, he started taking many pictures of Ten, who was changing poses slightly every other picture.

“Gorgeous, Tennie, gorgeous. You’re so beautiful.” The elder hopped on the bed as well, face first, to show Ten the pictures he had taken. He made extra sure that Ten looked exquisite and expensive in every single shot. He wanted the world to know how beautiful his lover was, and he tried to encapsulate that in his photographs. When they were both absolutely sure no one would walk in on them, they stole a few kisses from each other.

Soon afterward, their manager finally called them over so they could get ready to leave. Taeyong pulled Ten up from the bed and they both ended up laughing at themselves like idiots. The staff didn’t suspect a thing, even when they emerged from the bedroom with their arms linked together. This was a thing that brothers did, but Taeyong and Ten did not see each other as brothers.

They saw each other as something more - though they never dared to officiate it last night. Sure, they slept together, but no words were said to confirm it. Maybe they were both too scared to say anything, maybe they just wanted their little romance to last for their visit to Bangkok, and once they go back to Korea, everything will be as before. They would just be the teammates and “brothers” they found themselves familiar with. They did not have to struggle with the fear of being judged by not only their members, but also the general public who would disapprove of their love.

The staff accompanied the both of them for breakfast. They ate at the international buffet provided by the hotel, which had a wide variety of food. Their eyes practically twinkled when they saw how much food was there, and their manager had told them to eat up because today was a big and busy day. They had interviews, and then the fansign was later.

For appetizers, they had chicken soup. While they were eating, Ten had his hand warming Taeyong’s thigh under the table. This made the elder choke a little on his soup from surprise. Once Ten heard Taeyong’s reaction, he squeezed the elder boy’s thigh tighter. Taeyong smiled at that behind his spoon, and snuck a hand under the table, so he and Ten could hold hands. They were seated opposite the staff, so the boy was confident no one could see them being the mushiest pair.

Throughout breakfast, the two were exchanging spoons and feeding each other. They knew the staff would not suspect a thing because this was a common thing for them to do. Taeyong would slyly wipe a drop of soup from Ten’s mouth with his finger, and Ten would lick his lips to entice the other boy.

“God, you make me want to kiss you right now,” Taeyong whispered through his teeth.

“That’s the entire point, Hyung,” Ten smirked at him, then he went back to caressing his partner’s thighs.

After breakfast, they headed to the van to their first schedule, which was a quick interview for a Thai newsletter. The couple were seated at the back of the van, and Taeyong was fiddling with the rings on Ten’s finger. Ten remained unbothered and allowed his lover to play with the accessories on fingers as the car brought them to their next destination.

The interview was at a simple hotel room, less grand than their suite but still simple and clean enough to conduct a short interview. The staff made the both of them sit in front of a white closet. They were speaking Thai, which put Taeyong at a disadvantage. He glanced at Ten, who was laughing with the staff of the said newsletter. He wondered what they were talking about. Maybe they were praising Ten because he looked absolutely dashing today, which was true - he did.

When the interview started, the both of them snapped into their work faces. They had to act like they were not in love, but just two straight boys who saw each other as brothers. The first few questions were standard ones, asking about their work. Then, after those introductory questions, they immediately went to the juicy ones.

“What’s Taeyong’s strongest point?” asked the interviewer in Thai, which the interpreter had to translate for Taeyong.

This was an interesting question for the elder but he tried to keep his intrigue to a minimum. He looked at the camera as Ten talked, nodding along. He said that Taeyong’s best point was his determination and the confidence in his decisions. Then, the interviewer asked the same question to Taeyong. The elder was so lost in his thoughts that he had forgotten what was the proper answer but he said what was closest to his heart: Ten’s bright smile.

As he said this, Ten turned to him and flashed that aforementioned bright smile at him. It made Taeyong’s heart leap, and throughout the interview Ten never stopped smiling. So it’s safe to say that Ten knew how entirely whipped Taeyong was for him, crumbling so easily with only a smile.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, and ended with them being requested to dance a snippet of the chorus of Baby Don’t Stop. So they did, and at the end of their dance, Ten threw him a finger heart.

It threw Taeyong aback, so he had to laugh. Inside, his heart was fluttering and his stomach was doing somersaults. God, all he wanted to do right now was go home and kiss Ten senseless, but he can’t do that now… or perhaps all day until after the fansign. By then, they would both be dead tired.

After the interview, they said their thanks and went their merry ways to the next destination. Another interview for a different newspaper. This time, Ten put an arm around his waist when they were told to take a picture. For some reason, the boy was very forward today.

Didn’t Ten say that he had difficulty expressing his emotions before? Thank God, then, that Ten suddenly got brave… he would have to give back, though.

By the time of the actual fansign, he and Ten had spent seventy percent of their energy. Their stylists and makeup artists worked hard to keep them both looking fresh. Taeyong was used to this kind of stress, going from one place to another without any semblance of rest, such was the life of a performer. But he worried for Ten. Yes, the man was sturdier than he looked, but he wasn’t as accustomed to this as Taeyong was.

On the ride to the fansign, they were holding hands as if transferring energy to each other, not caring anymore what the others thought of their so-called “bromance.”

As they entered the building, a few staff members were already surrounding them so they are not met with crazy sasaeng fans or fans that were just plain rude. Instead, they were met with the warmest welcome. Screams from all around, as well as the multiple clicks of cameras. The both of them were told to ignore it all and proceed to the venue of the fansign.

There was a stage prepared for them, which showed a huge tarpaulin with their names on it and faces on it. If they followed the schedule, this fansign won’t last too long. At least they will get to see their loving fans up close, which is a huge thing for those fans.

The event started with a small press con portion. It was routine, the questions were almost always the same but with only small changes. They were requested to dance another portion of Baby Don’t Stop again, but this time Ten attempted to but was not able to give a proper finger heart because his fingers were wrapped around the microphone.

During the interview, though, Ten leaned over from his chair to whisper something in Taeyong’s ear. Taeyong wasn’t able to hear it the first time, so Ten leaned in, closer. The fans were quick to catch on, and squealed in surprise and fascination.

“I want to kiss you,” was what Taeyong caught, but he had to act calm - as if Ten said something business related, so he just nodded.

Once the press con was finished, there was a picture taking session. Ten was given a bouquet, and Taeyong was given another. After the picture taking, they gave their bouquets to the staff, who would transport those flowers to their suite.

Taeyong was made to change right before the fansign, into a loose navy blue short sleeved shirt, so he and Ten matched colors somehow. After that, the fansign started. It was definitely one of those quick fansigns because the fans were not made to sit at all. Their interactions did not even last long.

He glanced over at Ten, who was the image of warmth and friendliness. He was giving the fans unlimited warmth, as if he was friends with all of them. He could see why Ten had so many fans, he was an angel in human form. Always smiling, always bright. This was also maybe why Taeyong loved him so much, as a friend and as a lover.

After the last fan had their posters signed, the table was taken away. Ten and Taeyong both gave their thank you messages to the fans. Then, their manager called them over to have a photo-op with the fans.

The manager told them to kneel, and Taeyong was the one who did so first, bending his right knee down. Then he stopped when he heard squealing from the audience. It took him a split second to realize how their position look like at the moment. Taeyong was down on one knee, and Ten was looking at him with glittering eyes. God, if only it was real. Ten kneeled down with him. Their manager took a few photos of them with and their waving fans as the background.

Finally, there was only one thing left on their schedule for today, which was the VLive. They had announced a VLive through Twitter before they went into the van back to the hotel. God, Taeyong just wished they didn’t have to do a VLive, but they promised the fans - he couldn’t let them down.

They had arrived at the hotel at 7pm, just in time for them to have dinner at the international buffet in the hotel. They were both already dead tired from the entire day that Taeyong wonders if they’ll still be entertaining enough for the VLive. Once they had arrived at the hotel, they changed into their sleeping clothes. “The fans would love that,” said their manager.

Once the clock had struck 9PM, the manager turned on the camera and the VLive was up. Taeyong’s energy was low today, so he wondered if the entire VLive would be this way - low energy, just chilling. Ten was obviously tired as well, but they needed to interact with the fans who were not able to be with them during the fansign.

Taeyong was visibly sleepy because of the food that they had eaten. They were both snuggling pillows. His chin was rested on his hand as he tried to look at the stream of comments on the screen. However, the screen was too far away for them to see anything but small unreadable letters.

At one point of the VLive, Ten massaged Taeyong on the back, but perhaps the elder sent a far too icy look on his face and that made the younger feel cower in fear before stopping. When Ten was about to scoot closer, however, Taeyong stood up. They can’t risk being too lovey-dovey during a VLive where tens of thousands of fans could see them, and their manager was right there too. Then again, a little fanservice isn’t a bad thing.

As the VLive continued on, Ten had picked up the two of the roses that Taeyong did not use for their bath the previous day. Taeyong kept praising the flowers, saying they were the most beautiful he’s ever seen, but in truth, he was talking about Ten. His lover was more beautiful than any flower nature had to offer.

Taeyong read a comment that asked Ten to put the flower behind his ear. Ten mistook “ear” for “nose”, looking adorably distraught for a second but Taeyong quickly corrected him and said “ear.” So Ten tried to put it on.

“Like this?” He asked, showing it off to the elder.

Taeyong immediately said “Yes,” too caught up by how pretty Ten was.

On the other hand, the embarrassed Ten pretended to swoon. Taeyong giggled at how adorable the boy was being, unable to hold back a giddy smile. He declined when Ten asked him to wear the rose too, saying that it did not suit him.

The VLive went on, they talked about their day, what they had for dinner and so on. Since they were both known for their tastes in music, a fan had asked them for a song recommendation. In his personal opinion, Taeyong thought Ten’s taste for slow music would not help the sleepy atmosphere of their VLive, but he had always enjoyed his lover’s music taste.

“Ah! I know one.” Ten pointed his finger up to the air, and then went to get his phone. “It’s called _Lover, Please Stay_ by Nothing But Thieves.”

He pressed play and suddenly the whole room was engulfed in a soft, rosy atmosphere. As the song was playing, Taeyong listened to it. He couldn’t understand that much, because it was in English, but he could feel the melancholy in the singer’s voice. Taeyong let the song play on its own for a while, as he was reading the comments. His lover, in the meanwhile, was closing his eyes and feeling the song. For a short while, it was as if they had forgotten they were doing a VLive.

Taeyong had started talking about doing a VLive overseas because their manager had quiet pointed out that there should be no empty silences for their live. Eyes were watching them from all over the room. He’d love to stay and listen to the song with his lover, but this wasn’t a private event. If the song had gone on for longer, they’d all fall asleep, too. Which Taeyong really wanted, but he wanted to end the VLive properly, so as to not upset their fans.

They talked on about how tonight was the last night they had in Bangkok. Ten was excited for tomorrow, because they’ll get to see the fans again. Taeyong had the opposite reaction: he did not want tomorrow to come.

“But why?” Ten asked, shocked.

“Because it’s our last night here.”

His lover nodded in agreement. “There are good sides, and bad sides.”

Mostly bad sides, because then he will never have the time to be alone with Ten anymore, not after this. He’ll be back to his usual workload, Ten would be back in the dungeons doing who knows what.

The energy was slowly beginning to die down. Taeyong wanted the VLive to end soon, but the manager said that they still had eight minutes left. Good god, eight minutes?! This was perhaps the longest eight minutes Taeyong had experienced in his life. He wanted to go to bed and cuddle with Ten.

Their manager moved the tripod closer to them, so that they could see the comments easier. This was great, at least they could interact with the fans quicker. Five minutes went and passed, Ten made Taeyong speak in English, and they talked about Star Wars for a bit. Or rather, the fact that Ten hasn’t watched it yet. Taeyong reassured him that not having seen Star Wars is totally and absolutely _okay._ (And perhaps whoever made Ten feel bad for not watching those movies is gonna get a scolding from him.)

“I’m excited for tomorrow,” Ten told the other.

“I want to stay here because I’m having…” he looked over to Ten, a little mischievously, “a lot of fun.”

Ten took a little bit of time to process, but then covered his embarrassed face away from Taeyong. Let the fans interpret that however they want, but Taeyong knew what his words entailed exactly. He really did want to stay here, with Ten and only Ten.

The VLive finally stopped with them saying goodnight to their fans. They told them to have fun tomorrow, and sleep in. Ten talked in English again, and it was always wonderful to hear him speak in his most comfortable language.

After their manager had turned off the camera for the VLive app, Taeyong helped the staff keep the cameras and equipment because they all had a tiring day. They both thanked them for all their hard work. The manager even gave them a heartfelt congratulations, and told them to sleep well for the night, since tomorrow was another big day. Taeyong assured him that they will do so, but then he wondered how true that actually would be.

Taeyong returned to the chaise lounge, where Ten was sitting on. He was admiring the rose, touching its soft petals with his fingers. The elder joined him, and played with the flower’s as well. Then, his hand trailed down to Ten’s wrist. He brought it to his lips and kissed it softly.

“Hyung,” Ten piped in a quiet voice, “what’ll be we be…  after this?”

“Us?” Taeyong brought his knees up the couch and scooted closer to Ten. He reached over to touch the petals of the rose Ten was holding as well.

In truth, Taeyong did not have an answer to that question. He was mourning the end of the Bangkok trip, and he knew that Ten felt the same as well. He snaked his arms around his lover’s waist and used that as a leverage to pull himself closer. He held Ten close from the side, clutching onto the boy because truly, this was their last night alone together. His body felt like giving out any second because of the amount of work they did today, but he did not want to waste this last night they had.

“We have to go to sleep,” Ten said half heartedly, but his hands were playing with the elder’s earlobe, not wanting to be apart from him. He snuck the other rose that was on his lap behind Taeyong’s ear and smiled. “It suits you.”

Taeyong tried to pin the rose to his ear with his fingers, but it kept falling, so he just held it in his hand. “It suits you more, Tennie.” He tried to bury the rose in Ten’s hair, but it was no use because it kept falling off.

Ten giggled at that, and held his own rose in place on the right side of his head with his hand. Then, he reached over to the table where his phone was, and opened his front camera app.

“You do it too, Hyung. Let’s take a picture.”

This time, Taeyong obeyed. They were losing time, so Taeyong cannot complain if Ten wants to do mushy things, nor can Ten deny him the same as well. He pinned the rose on the opposite side of his head with his fingers and smiled at the camera. They did a multitude of poses together: of kissy faces, pouts, finger hearts. They probably took around fifty selfies on Ten’s phone and somehow that still wasn’t enough.

“Tennie, can I do something?” The elder said as he lodged his chin on his lover’s shoulder.

“Yes? What is it?”

“It’s a surprise,” Taeyong grinned, “on the count of three, take a photo.”

The elder counted one… two… and on the third count, just as Ten’s thumb hit the ‘capture’ button, Taeyong pressed a kiss on his lover’s cheek. Ten flicked his head upward, surprised at the sudden act of affection. While Ten was busy malfunctioning, Taeyong viewed the picture they both just took.

“Baby,” Taeyong murmured, “we’re adorable together.”

Then, Ten took a look at the photo. He burst into giggles. “This is so cheesy!”

Taeyong nuzzled his nose further into Ten’s neck, smiling because his lover as being so cute. “You don’t like it?”

“No.” Ten jutted his lips out to pout. Before Taeyong could say anything, the younger continued with, “I love it! I want to make it my phone background, but that’ll give us trouble…”

“Nonsense! Jaehyun had that photo with me kissing his cheek as _his_ phone background and no one else was complaining. You know what’ll be trouble though?”

“What?” Ten blinked at the man.

Taeyong asked to borrow Ten’s phone, then held it out in front of them.

“Kiss me,” the elder said.

“Ohhh,” Ten nodded, a sneaky grin on his lips, “ _those_ kinds of selcas. I see.”

Then, without even wasting time, Ten presses his lips onto Taeyong’s and the other immediately presses the capture button multiple times so that the camera could solidify the moment they had. He kept pressing the button even when Ten decided to be naughty and lick his lips and when their closed mouth kissing turned into open mouthed kissing.

They parted after what seemed like eternity and perhaps a thousand pictures of them kissing. Ten’s poor phone storage must have been suffering by then. But no matter, this was their last night in Bangkok together so they needed to have souvenirs, from each other.

“AirDrop me those photos later. I need them to get me through the days we’re apart,” Taeyong requested, his hands clasped together on his lover’s side. Ten put a hand there as well, his eyelids already drooping. The elder, in the meanwhile, was nibbling on Ten’s earlobe.

“Hyung, we need to rest. You’ve been tired the entire VLive.”

“The both of us really. Even our fans knew we were exhausted,” Taeyong chuckled as he recalled the multitude of comments that told him to rest, which he chose to ignore.

Ten planted a kiss on Taeyong’s forehead, then his nose, and a chaste one on top of his lips. The elder wondered briefly if they still had some energy to act on the passions they had for each other, but the both of them had to wake up early for the next day.

“But, _God_ , I want you,” Taeyong growled against Ten’s mouth.

Ten smirked against his lover’s lips, and dragged his tongue over them. His hands were caressing the man’s sharp jawline. Taeyong shifted forward and made Ten kneel on the chaise lounge. His hands were travelling upwards the younger’s black shirt, and Ten returned the motion, lifting the hem of Taeyong’s white shirt to expose his belly. The elder was sketching circles on his lover’s thin stomach.

“Bed,” Ten murmured.

The chaise lounge itself was big enough to be considered a bed, but the elder figured that Ten wanted to make love properly. With that, Taeyong hopped off the couch. Then, he locked Ten’s knees on his hips and began to carry the man like this to the bedroom.

“Hold on tight, baby,” Taeyong whispered, with a grin on his face.

Ten was just laughing the whole time, holding onto Taeyong for dear life. If he falls, at least it would be on the carpeted floor, but Taeyong was not going to let his suave, smooth moves be brought down by his inability to hold Ten up.

By the time they had arrived to the bed, Taeyong had all but thrown his lover onto the soft foam.  Taeyong turned down the lights, so that the only thing they could see was the city lights from the terrace window. Then, he pummeled onto the bed soon after. This was the last time they were going to sleep on this bed, so they have to make the most of it while it lasted.

The younger had already set the mood with his acoustic music playing from his phone. Ten beckoned Taeyong to come closer with his finger, his eyes lidded and twinkling from the moonlight. Taeyong crawled up to him like a chameleon, and immediately started nuzzling Ten’s jawline with lazy kisses. Ten, in the meanwhile, was trying to get Taeyong’s shirt off his body - he had already lifted it upwards to expose all of his lover’s back, but Ten wanted it off completely.

“Off,” Ten demanded, “all of this.”

“Spoiled, are we?” Taeyong chuckled, and then pulled the shirt off himself slowly, and his shorts soon after as well. He was left only in his boxers.

Ten took a moment to let the sight before him sink in, ogling Taeyong from head to toe. He had seen his lover’s body the previous night, but it truly doesn’t get old to see him this way.

“Aren’t you going to take off your clothes, Tennie?” Taeyong asked, running a hand through Ten’s hair.

“You would have to pry it off me.” Ten crossed his hands over his chest, pouting, as if presenting a challenge for his lover.

Well, Taeyong loved a challenge, even if he was dead tired. With Ten looking like that, how can he ever refuse?

He planted his chin on Ten’s chest, biting his bottom lip, as his index and middle finger walked their way up Ten’s thighs, which made Ten shiver. The two fingers turned into an entire hand warming their way up Ten’s thighs. Then hands turned into lips as Taeyong crouched down to dot his lover’s skin in warm kisses. Ten gripped Taeyong’s hair upward, sighing.

“I think we’re both too tired to go all the way,” the younger told him.

Taeyong paused and looked at Ten with curious eyes. “I know, but I want to make the most of tonight.”

“Me too, but I don’t think we can…”

Ten put his fingers on his chin for a moment as he tried to think of something. Then, he patted the space next to him in bed. Taeyong obeyed, climbing up next to his lover so that they were facing each other side by side.

The younger turned to his side so he could regard Taeyong in all his beauty. He drew spirals on Taeyong’s bare chest, and soon the drawings started spiralling down Taeyong’s body.

“We can get each other off? I know it’s not enough but --”

The elder shook his head, reassuring his lover. His hand cupped the boy’s cheek, then he drew closer. They did not need to go all the way tonight. “No, it’s perfect.”

With that, Ten smiled warmly. He pulled his shirt off as well, and kicked off his shorts. He was exposed now, they both were. Taeyong immediately touched Ten’s chest once he saw it, gliding his index finger up and down on it.

“Should we get to it, Hyung?” Ten asked, his voice soft and inquisitive.

The elder nodded. Taeyong dove down and started kissing Ten’s neck again, starting from his collarbones going upwards, slowly, savoring every bit of skin that his mouth would encounter. Ten threw his head back to give his lover more space. Taeyong dragged the base of his tongue down Ten’s neck, then back up again. He felt the younger shudder in response.

Ten, not wanting to be stationary, let the tips of his fingers scurry down to the waistband of Taeyong’s boxers. He eases them down slowly, so he can grab his lover’s butt. Ten let out a little giggle when the other jumped in response to that. Then, Ten’s hands fumbled over to the front of Taeyong’s boxers.

Taeyong heaved a huge sigh, as his own hands followed Ten’s example. His fingers were hooked on the side of Ten’s waistband as he dragged the briefs down his lover’s legs, allowing Ten’s erection to spring up.

The elder swiped a finger up his lover’s shaft, causing Ten to shudder. Then, he did not waste any time, and begins to pump. His pace was slow at first, then he picked up when Ten told him to.

His lover, on the other hand was trying to do the same, only that his pace was a bit faster, his breaths a lot heavier. He takes Taeyong’s lips into a deep, wanting kiss again, with their mouths slightly open and their tongues dancing together.

“You’re all I want, Hyung,” Ten whimpered as he picked up his pace.

“I don’t want anyone else either,” replied Taeyong.

The elder swung his leg over Ten’s body, and pulled them closer together with that so they could feel each other’s pumping. So they could feel their breaths coming together, rising and falling. So Taeyong could hear the miniscule moans that were coming out of Ten’s mouth. So they could be as close as they possibly can.

Taeyong felt himself getting closer and closer to his climax, and he knew his Ten was getting closer as well. He picked up the pace, faster and faster, to the sound of Ten’s gasps.

“A-almost there -- _ah!”_

Ten spilled into Taeyong’s hand, but Ten did not want Taeyong to be left behind. He started sliding his hand up and down his lover’s cock, wanting him to feel the most pleasurable. Taeyong could feel his nerves just dancing along his entire body.

“ _Fuck,_ Ten!”

That was when Taeyong came onto his lover’s stomach, streaks of white staining Ten’s immaculate skin. He looked at Ten, and the end of the man’s hair was damp from the sweat. Taeyong, with his clean hand, combed his lover’s hair back so he could see his beautiful face.

Ten gave him the most adorable sleepy grin Taeyong had ever seen. How can a man be so beautiful? How can a man look so pure and kind and loving?

Only his Ten. _His_ Ten.

“You’re mine, you know,” Taeyong muttered after he took a box of tissues from the nightstand to wipe their skin of mess they had made.

Ten raised the duvet over the bodies for warmth. Then, he slid his arms around Taeyong’s torso, nodding as he nuzzles into him. “I’m all yours.”

The climax they both felt made the both of them feel drowsier than they initially were. It was perhaps already eleven, and had to be awake by five. Ten pecked a kiss on Taeyong’s forehead, before nuzzling himself on his chest. Taeyong squeezed Ten between his arms, chuckling softly.

“Goodnight, Hyung,” Ten said as his eyes fluttered closed, “ _Phom rak khun.”_

Taeyong paused for a good few seconds, trying to process Ten’s words in his head. It definitely wasn’t Korean, nor was it English. It was probably Thai, then. But Thai for what?

“What does that mean, Ten?” he asked, hoping his lover was not asleep by then.

The sleepy Ten yawned out his answer, but still attempted a soft smile up at him: “I love you.”

Ten went back to sleep, leaving Taeyong to process the words in his head. Wasn’t this the same man who made him not say anything about their feelings out loud? What changed? His heart was doing cartwheels, after hearing Ten say those words, it felt like magic. He felt like he was flying.

“I love you _so_ much, you don't even know...” he whispered, perhaps to the air, before setting off to his own dreamland.


	5. v. june 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh my apologies for the slow update! life got in the way, but here it is! i hope you all enjoy this chapter and i hope you all enjoyed the ride! this was a fun little self-indulgent prose rant, and it made for great writing practice. i took some artistic liberties with this, since i was not present during the bangkok fanmeeting and could only acquire information from twitter. 
> 
> some smut at the beginning, too! a small warning ;) sldfjds the rating changed because of it but whatever.

They awoke an hour before call time, at around four in the morning. Taeyong had his arms around Ten, holding him from behind as they slept. The elder woke up first, nuzzling his nose up against his lover’s ear piercings.

“Baby, wake up,” Taeyong whispered, his voice emerging from the bottom of his throat.

Ten groaned, not opening his eyes as he flipped over to face the elder. Taeyong gave him a small smile as he played with the hair on Ten’s forehead. He allowed this moment of silence, of intimacy. He wanted to bask in this - Ten in his arms, the rare moments of them being alone together. 

Taeyong looked at Ten as if he were the most precious thing in the entire world. His eyes twinkled, even when Ten’s eyes were narrow from the sudden entry of light into his sight, even when his nose was scrunched. 

Then, his phone buzzed, which made him bounce up on the bed. He checked his phone, and saw that it was their manager, telling them to get ready for the day, and that they’ll arrive in an hour. 

Right.

June 3rd, their last day in Bangkok. Who would have thought things would end up this way? Ten and Taeyong lounging in bed together, happily and truly in love until reality crashes in on them.

Tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. Back to busy schedules, back to being separated from Ten all the time. No longer will be they be TxT, but just Ten and Taeyong. 

After checking his phone, he slumped back next to his lover. Ten, on the other hand, was slightly awake and rubbing his eyes. The younger’s hair was in disarray, a small portion of it spiked upwards because of the friction on the bed. Taeyong’s lips curled up in amusement as he tried to smooth it out. 

“What did it say?” Ten’s voice was still gravelly from having just woken up.

Taeyong nuzzled his nose against Ten’s cheek, groaning like a whiny baby. He raised his knee and rested it down on Ten’s hips, locking himself on his lover’s body. 

“They want us to get ready,” the elder pouted. 

“Well? Let’s get ready, then!” 

Ten flipped the blanket off their bodies. Taeyong shuddered at the sudden coolness that ran through his body at the removal of the blanket. He wondered why his lover was so perky at the thought that this was their last day in this heaven they called the Athenee Hotel. Taeyong perched himself up on his forearms, Ten on the other hand, was walking to their bathroom clad in nothing.

“Do you like the view?” Ten perked up, with a slimy grin on his face. 

Taeyong turned in bed to stare at his lover. He was allowed to do that, right? To observe his lover from head to toe, memorizing every inch of his body from the birthmarks to the piercings and the small scars. 

“How the hell are you so beautiful?” was all Taeyong could say to him.

Ten walked in slow strides, making sure Taeyong was looking at only him with every step he took. There are intervals during his walk where he would glance at his lover with his eyelids half open, to entice him, then continue on. Taeyong loved this. He loved how Ten can make him feel so many sensations by just  _ walking. _

The younger ended his catwalk at the door frame of the bathroom. He posed there, his one arm situated up the door frame, his body forming a curve, while the other arm was beckoning him to come closer with only a finger. 

“Come on, Hyung, we haven’t showered together yet.” Ten said with his voice dipping low.

“Are you trying to be seductive?” asked Taeyong with a chuckle, but his lover did not move.

“Maybe,” Ten bent his arm, so that his other hand was framing his chin.

Taeyong rose from the bed, taking his time, before walking up the younger boy. He places a hand at the bottom of his lover’s back, then pulls him closer. Ten looks at him with a sly smile before biting his own bottom lip. Taeyong raised his hand and brushed his thumb over Ten’s lips. 

“A kiss would be nice,” Ten breathed against Taeyong’s fingers.

Taeyong, thinking that two could play at the teasing game, slipped his two of his fingers into the folds of his lover’s lips. Ten received them willingly, easing his mouth open. He slides his tongue along Taeyong’s fingers, as if savouring a scoop of ice cream. Taeyong sucked his breath in, watching his lover devour his fingers this way. Ten shot a look at him, straight in the eye, before driving his head forward a little, to take in a little more. 

They were lost in this moment, as Taeyong’s eyes were trained on Ten the entire time his fingers were inside the boy’s mouth, and Ten looked as if he was enjoying every moment - humming, sighing, that Taeyong had to sigh along with him. His stomach made waves inside, and he felt as though he’ll get very hard, soon enough. 

He popped his fingers out of Ten’s mouth, then after a pause to let him breathe, replaced it with his own tongue, driving his lover into the bathroom and pressing him against the bathroom wall. Ten moaned against his mouth, and was about to grab Taeyong by the shirt before realizing they were wearing nothing. He locked Ten’s wrist with his own and began to lower his kisses, from the lips, to his neck, downwards to his stomach. (Even then, Ten was still wearing that necklace of rings, but Taeyong chose to ignore them for now.) 

Taeyong was kneeling and about to reach Ten’s crotch area when - 

“Hyung,” Ten whispered, twisting his lover’s hair at the top, “we have to get ready…”

Right. They have to be “responsible adults” so they have no setbacks. What if their manager accidentally walks in on them doing scandalous things? They can’t risk anything, but at the same time they can’t waste any time either, or at least Taeyong thought.

“We can multitask,” Taeyong quipped, not moving from his position.

“What do you mean?” asked Ten with an eyebrow raised.

“You wash my hair, and I’ll…” he nudged his head, suggesting something. 

With that, Ten giggled and brushed his fingers along Taeyong’s hair. “How can I refuse that?” 

They locked the bathroom door before prancing over to the shower with their hands clasped tight. If this was what bliss felt like, Taeyong wanted to experience it all the time. He can’t believe he was lucky enough to meet and fall in love with someone like Ten, but he was forever frustrated at the fact that they cannot be a normal couple once they leave the shores of Thailand.

Once Ten had opened the sliding glass door to the shower, Taeyong had to stop him for a second. The younger turned, confused. 

“Hey,” Taeyong squeezed his lover’s hand. “I love you.”

The edges of Ten’s lips quivered a little, trying to hide a smile, but it ended up appearing anyway. Ten found himself laughing before pulling his lover into the shower. He pressed kisses all over the man’s face, from the forehead down to his sharp jaw.

“I love you too,” Ten said in between kisses, before Taeyong catches him with his lips. 

While kissing, they carefully walked their way under the big rain shower head which could actually account for the both of them. Taeyong opened his eyes slightly so he could turn the knob.

They separated for a moment, when they were doused in warm water, causing their hair to fall into wet mops and cover their eyes. Ten parted his hair before reaching to part Taeyong’s. 

Taeyong gave the younger a small smile, before pulling him over to continue their kissing spree, this time wetter. Ten’s arms were stretched out around his lover’s neck, trying to press closer than they already are. His lover’s hands were roaming around Ten’s body freely, exploring his smooth skin with his palms and fingertips.

“I love you,” Taeyong cooed.

“...Do it,” was all that Ten replied. 

Taeyong sunk to his knees, sliding his hands down Ten’s body as he was doing so. He cupped his lover’s butt, squeezing them with a playful smile on his face, before kissing Ten’s inner thighs. Ten shuddered at the contact, but tried to keep his focus. He reached for the bottle of shampoo on the rack beside the shower, so he can start washing his lover’s hair before he would get… distracted.

The elder was kneeling in front of Ten, easing his way to the boy’s crotch bit by bit - licking the skin near it. Then, he bumped his nose on his lover’s cock, which was rock hard. Taeyong ran a finger on the underside, just to watch his lover’s knees go weak. He tested out his tongue, swishing it over the tip. Ten sucked in a sharp breath.

“We have to hurry up,” Ten warned him as he started lathering the shampoo on his lover’s hair. 

Taeyong nodded, and took him by the mouth. Ten let out a loud moan in response, which echoed within the bathroom’s cold walls. He felt strange at first, with his mouth full like this, but he did not want to disappoint his lover. He imagined sucking lollipop - only this one was harder, and made of skin. It only occurred to him now how inexperienced he was.

In the meanwhile, Ten was massaging Taeyong’s head as he washed it, pulling on the locks whenever his lover would do something that would send electric shocks all over his body. 

“Y-yes, like that,” Ten stuttered when his lover started swirling his tongue around his cock.

The lover saw this as a sign to keep doing so, so he did. His cheeks were hollowed as he sucked his lover in as much as he could take it. Taeyong flicked his eyes upward, to make eye contact with the younger.

This made Ten whimper out his name, before rinsing his lover’s hair off with the shower water, and taking them both to the shower’s walls, so he could properly throw his head back in pleasure.

Taeyong slid his tongue down the underside of his lover’s cock, before taking most of it in again, forming a sort of rhythm. Then, Ten started moving his hips forward with that rhythm. Even in these, they were in sync. His hand pump his own crotch to match the pleasure they were both feeling.

He could feel Ten twitch in his mouth, and in order to amplify that, he squeezed the boy’s butt cheek. Ten made an ungodly sound. 

“H-hyung, I’m close,” said Ten, his fingers shaking as they pulled on his lover’s hair.

Taeyong only nodded as he continued taking his lover’s cock over with his mouth, waiting for the upcoming release. Ten’s come shot into his lover’s mouth, and Taeyong was more than willing to receive all of it. After a few more pumps of his own, Taeyong followed, spilling onto the shower’s tiled floor. 

They washed each other quickly with the water from the shower. Taeyong washed his hands first, then gargled a little. Soon enough, they were both laughing again as they rubbed their bodies with the vanilla-scented shower gel. 

“I wish we could do this more often,” Taeyong said as he started to rinse off the soap on Ten’s body.

“Shower blowjobs?” Ten grinned.

“ _ That, _ ” Taeyong fought back with a smirk, “and also just… showering together. You and me.” 

Ten nodded, but this time his grin turned into a small, sad smile. The elder pressed a soft kiss on Ten’s chin before turning the shower off.

“Maybe we can sneak around in the dreamies’ shower?” Taeyong joked, but Ten only shook his head.

“We need to hurry, Hyung.” 

Ten stepped out of the shower first to get the towels from the rack. He threw Taeyong one before beginning to dry himself up. Taeyong looked at the boy, a bit confused at how the mood shifted so quickly. He started drying himself too, so he wouldn’t waste any time.

They brushed their teeth in a silence that Taeyong found strange. Maybe he  _ did _ say something wrong, but it would be nice if Ten told him what exactly he did. Ten excused himself as soon as he finished brushing his teeth, and that was when Taeyong realized that maybe something was wrong.

When Taeyong went out of the bathroom, his lover was already half-dressed in his pants… which was proper, because they were supposed to be in a hurry, but it didn’t really help ease the situation. Taeyong put on some pants too, but when he was about to speak to Ten, the boy was fully dressed and already on his way to the coffee machine. Taeyong slipped on a white shirt before running over to his strangely quiet lover.

“Baby?” Taeyong piped with a small voice when he found Ten in front of the coffee machine. “Is everything okay?”

Ten did not look at him but he nodded. Then shook his head. Taeyong heard a stifled sob and took this as a sign to just go to him.

“Tennie?” Taeyong stood beside Ten and placed a hand on the marble counter. Ten’s fingers worked on their own, and met with Taeyong’s.

Taeyong clasped his lover’s hand with a tight squeeze. He raised his knuckles to give them a kiss. This was when Ten started to weep, softly, and Taeyong doesn’t even know why. 

“I-I’m sorry I’m keeping you from the coffee machine,” Ten spoke in between sobs, “I should probably just -” 

Taeyong pulled Ten by the arm and turned him around to cover him in his embrace. The younger started weeping into his shirt, and all Taeyong could do was stroke the back of his head.

“I love you so much,” Taeyong whispered into his hair.

“That’s what scares me, hyung. You love me, and God knows I feel the same… but there is so much between us. Who we are. Our jobs. We always have to hide from everyone. Everyone expects you to end up with a woman. While we were in bed, I wondered why I wasn’t born a woman - I could still fulfill my dreams. I could still be an idol. It would take some time for the fans to understand, yes, but we’d still be accepted by society. We could get married and hold hands on the street. But no, I am proudly but at the same time sadly a man.” 

Taeyong listened to all this, perfectly still. Ten was right. Society wouldn’t just easily accept the fact that two popular boys from the Kpop industry and from SM Entertainment nonetheless would ever be in love with each other. For fanservice, of course this would be acceptable, but in real life? He didn’t think so. They would be spat on, and the company sales would be likely to sink. There was so much to consider, there was so much to lose. 

“Are you willing to risk everything, then, to be with me?” Taeyong replied, brushing a finger on Ten’s wet cheek. 

“Our company would never approve.”

“I know that, Ten. But I don’t want any of this to go to waste–”

“Would you risk being an idol just because we were caught dating?”

“Well–”

“I can’t, Hyung. You understand, right? This has been my dream since I was a kid,” Ten started sobbing again, “We’re still new in the industry. I’m Thai. Eyes are trained on me everywhere, waiting for a misstep. The netizens are not so forgiving, too…”

Taeyong wiped the tears away with his thumb. He wished he knew how to comfort him, but Taeyong was at a loss. 

“Do you want to end this, then?” 

Ten’s breath hitched, but he didn’t answer. His eyes were on the floor, his lips were quivering. Taeyong, on the other hand, felt his heart shattering. He took his hands off Ten’s face, and immediately the boy’s eyes shot up to look at him. 

Taeyong shrugged, shoving his hands down his pockets. He tried to hide the quiver of his lips. “I mean, we were bound to end this sooner or later…” 

“D-don’t get me wrong. I don’t want anyone but you, Taeyong-hyung,” Ten said through a shivering voice, “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Taeyong fought through the anger, the heartbreak and the pain to give Ten a warm smile. Taeyong was the older one. He was supposed to be more mature, more understanding. Ten fought and trained hard to be an idol, and if he cannot risk that for their relationship, then he should be able to let him go, since he wants Ten to be happy. 

“I know. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone as much as I want you.” Taeyong batted away the tears. He didn’t want the stylists to wonder why his eyes were puffy. 

Taeyong shrugged, shoving his hands down his pockets. “We were bound to break up sooner or later.” 

This was the worst time to break up, on the biggest day of their Bangkok trip. He lifted his head so the tears won’t fall down his cheeks. He heard Ten’s slippers padding towards him when the doorbell rang. 

Timing, indeed. The hour had passed, and the manager was already at their door. Taeyong snuck a little kiss on Ten’s forehead before hopping over to open the door. The stylists swarmed in with a rack of clothes for them to choose from for the day. They sat Taeyong down by the mirror so he could start getting his makeup done. Ten was also dragged out from his coffee break to get his makeup done.

There was silence between them. No more linked pinkies, no stolen glances. Just the two of them, back to back. They remained civil when they saw each other, but there was still that lingering awkwardness. After all, they were still fresh from the “break up” of sorts. 

Just when they thought things wouldn't get any more awkward, after they had their makeup done and they were fully dressed, the manager asked them to take a selca for the fans, something to revv them up for the fan meeting later on that day. 

“Ten,” Taeyong called his… ex-lover over so they can take a photo with the manager’s phone. 

They took photos, pretending to still be in good conditions with each other. Their faces were close and their heads were pressed together, it was almost as if they did not have that conversation earlier. 

Unbeknownst to Ten, he also posted two of his favorite photos he took of Ten the day before, as a testimony to the beauties of Bangkok. He captioned it, “In Bangkok” and made it known that he was the one who took those photos. He loved Ten so much that sometimes his senses got the best of him. He wanted to show him off, even when he had to let him go. He can show Ten off as a brother, after all.

After the preparations, they went down for a quick lunch. Again, Ten and Taeyong were made to sit beside each other. Silence. Not even a peep from the both of them. Taeyong prayed that the managers would not suspect a thing, that they were both simply too tired to interact. Taeyong would need some time alone after this, but he can’t really do that.

They were shoved into a van, so they could get to the dance studio to rehearse their performances. Quiet again. No secret hand holding, no secret smiles, no giggles. Taeyong’s hand was placed firmly on his lap, and so was Ten’s. He glanced over at his ex-lover, but Ten was doing his best not to look his way. The boy was instead staring outside.

Dance rehearsals didn’t make anything better. Taeyong had to pretend they were okay, and hyped Ten up as he rehearsed for  _ New Heroes. _ He even gave the boy a towel and a bottle of water after this rehearsal, to which Ten received with a hesitant smile. When the managers weren’t looking, Taeyong stepped closer to Ten, so he could whisper.

“We can still be friends, right? Don’t… don’t just act like we were nothing before we –”

“Of course, Hyung,” Ten answered with a small quiver in his voice.

Taeyong had no idea if Ten was simply being polite or sincere with his response. He gave the boy’s hand a quick squeeze (which made his heart leap) before running off to rehearse  _ Around. _ Sooner or later, they would have to rehearse  _ Baby, Don’t Stop. _

They had only a four hours before show time, and luckily the both of them were professional enough to pull off  _ Baby Don't Stop  _ to perfection. Ten did not touch him though, not during the petting move nor during the punching move. Ten made no interaction with him, not even eye contact. 

After rehearsals, they were surrounded by stylists again, who were fussing over their hair and their faces. They needed to be crystal clean and to have the smell of ice and blueberries. The makeup artist added another layer more of the usual foundation onto Taeyong’s face, knowing that they needed a lot of that onstage. 

While he was being made up, he thought of Ten, and the few days they had together. He wondered how life would have been if they didn’t act upon their feelings. Perhaps it would have been easier. As his makeup artist was applying lipgloss on him, it was strange - but he thought of Ten, the way their lips would glide against each other. Oh, how he’d miss that. 

Ten was seated in front of him, having his makeup and hair done as well. He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw that his ex-lover was gazing at him as well. God, why did everything have to be so complicated?

They were dressed quickly in their attire. Taeyong was given a black blazer and a patterned shirt, plus ripped jeans. Ten was made to wear a maroon jacket with a black shirt underneath, with ripped jeans too. 

“You look dashing,” Taeyong told him once he emerged from the dressing room. 

Ten reached over and tucked in Taeyong’s shirt collar, which made the elder’s heart nearly implode. They had to be professional, to keep their feelings at bay. Right now, they were coworkers, so Taeyong cannot act upon his feelings. He shouldn’t, because doing so would be as though disrespecting Ten’s decision to stop whatever there was between them. 

With a pat on Taeyong’s chest, Ten replied, “You don’t look so bad either, Hyung.” 

Taeyong’s heart wanted to take Ten’s wrist dramatically as if in a cheesy Korean drama and kiss him, but Taeyong’s mind knew not to do that. Real life did not work the same way as fiction, after all. He watched Ten walk away, before heading into the van himself. 

On the way to the concert hall, the manager had warned them that the place was packed to the brim. This was good news for the both of them, since that only means that the fans were eager to see them and be with them.

There was a couch set in the middle of the stage. There would be some sort of a talk show before the performances. The emcees would interview Ten and Taeyong using the questions sent to them the past few days ago, then they would paint plant pots before playing some games. Overall, big fun for everyone.

Well, that is, except for Ten and Taeyong, who will have to force smiles throughout the entire thing.

The interview went on, the questions and answers were something they had both rehearsed beforehand. Some questions were standard, asking about the artistic process. The answers were curated, repetitive sometimes even. Taeyong and Ten just kept on smiling, pretending as if everything was okay. 

Then, Ten was asked the big question: how would he describe his relationship with Taeyong? Taeyong knew the answer of course, they had rehearsed it before. They saw each other as brothers, but Ten added more compliments. 

This made Taeyong’s poor little heart swell. He really cannot resist Ten.

Taeyong’s heart was quaking, trembling from left to right and front to back. He placed a hand on his chest and looked at the interpreter. The interpreter gave him a fist pump to boost his confidence. 

He needed to tell Ten. 

“Ten,” Taeyong started, his breath nervous and heavy. Ten’s eyes watched him carefully, but Taeyong continued, “ _ phom rak kun.”  _

The emcees bounced backward in surprise and the entire hall screeched in glee. But the reaction he didn’t expect at all was Ten’s. The boy was giggling, uncontrollably. His face was redder than his jacket. He was supposed to say something but the embarrassment overrode him. Were those tears brimming in his eyes? Ten sneakily wiped them off with his sleeve. The younger was nodding, as if to say “I love you, too.” 

Taeyong raised his hand for a high five and Ten gave that to him. He felt the tension in the boy’s grip, but it soon relaxed when they released their hands. He never wanted to let go.

Taeyong talked about how he saw Ten as a younger brother as well, because that’s what they want the public to believe. That their relationship was just strictly and entirely platonic - that they never slept together and will never entertain the thought of dating. That they never exchanged “I love yous” in bed and in the shower with no clothes. Nothing. Just two platonic brothers.

Later on, Taeyong was asked what this three favorite things were in Thailand. The elder let out a small chuckle, because he knew the answers. He loved Ten. He  _ still  _ loved Ten. He loved Ten so much that he had to let the boy go, so he could fulfill this dream. Ten would be number one in his list. But then if he was being truthful, making love to Ten and spending time with Ten would be second and third. No. Second would be the fans, and then… maybe Thai milk tea. 

“Well, first on my list is Ten.” Squeals from the fans, of course. “Second would be my fans, and third would be Thai milk tea.” 

Ten laughed at the answers and nodded at him in approval. The Thai boy was asked the same question. For a second, Taeyong felt Ten glancing at him, as if he was withholding something. Taeyong pretended that their minds were connected somehow, so he knew what Ten would say if they were being truthful. Ten gave safe, but truthful answers. His family, of course, the fans, and his younger self. 

The young Ten… The carefree Ten who wasn’t restrained from limb to limb by cameras and managers’ eyes. The happy Ten, the smiling Ten. The Ten who would take videos of himself demonstrating a dance for “giiiirls.” The Ten who had everything, except for the one person he cannot ever have. Taeyong’s heart ached. If, perhaps, they were in a different universe, would they have been able to love each other freely? 

Taeyong wanted to take Ten’s hand in his as they talked, but he had to restrain himself. This situation was dangerous, so many eyes were observing them. One wrong move would send the fans into a frenzy, which was somehow a good thing, but Taeyong cannot risk embarrassing Ten. Especially not in this crowd.

A few more questions went and passed, and he assumed that everyone was having a good time. The fans were interactive and lively, which just boosted the atmosphere. The hosts were jubilant too, so was the interpreter. Everything went smoothly. 

“What are your dreams for each other?” The interpreter asked. 

Dreams –

Taeyong flashed to the future. He saw Ten in a loose white unbuttoned shirt in the beach, with cuffed pants so the sand would not reach the fabric. He saw himself with Ten on that beach, holding his lover’s hand. They both wore translucent sunglasses, and Ten kissed his nose. They were happy.

“I want Ten to be a millionaire,” Taeyong blurted out.

Which was perhaps the most stupid thing he could ever say because Ten’s family are already millionaires. Ten himself was already a millionaire, so that dream had already been fulfilled, but Taeyong had other things in mind. Like… an island to themselves. 

But Ten did not laugh at him this time. He gave Taeyong a soft expression – it was neither happy, nor sad. Ten snuck a smile up the corners of his mouth and said, “Thanks. I want to  _ P’ _ Taeyong to keep writing on songs and become the well-respected artist he was born to be.” 

Taeyong felt his heart warm up in his chest. Taeyong wanted the world to just disappear so he and Ten could be alone together, with no one judging them. He wished he had come up with something more clever than “for him to be a millionaire.” Something touching like Ten’s message, perhaps. 

The rest of the night went on. They painted flower pots, and Taeyong wrote his name in Thai. Ten’s flower pots were full of geometric lines – Ten was fond of those. He loved doodles and dark paintings. This was a sharp contrast to his flower pots, which looked like bursts of color that gave the impression of flowers. 

After that, they prepared for their performances. There was a short break for them to change into their performance costumes, and Ten had to hurry, since his performance was first. Taeyong was escorted to the front entrance of the venue, where he was to enter later on for  _ Around.  _

Taeyong couldn’t see Ten’s  _ New Heroes  _ performance from the entrance, but judging from the screams in the audience, and Ten’s soothing but commanding voice spreading through the hall’s doors was enough for Taeyong to know that Ten did perfectly. After that was  _ Around _ . Taeyong entered from the front entrance, bouncing and popping between the aisle of screaming fans.  

Then,  _ Around  _ was over. Taeyong was rushed backstage so he could change into his  _ Baby Don’t Stop _ attire. He saw Ten, already dressed, giving him a thumbs up. Taeyong nodded in return, before the both of them ran up the stage to perform their song. 

The thrumming, grizzly bass echoed throughout he hall. Ten and Taeyong pounded their chests to the beat of the music that they had been so long familiar with. They danced, as if one entity together. Ten sang in Thai, and the fans sang along. Taeyong watched his ex-lover in short glances but stayed entirely focused. 

Ten pulled him into the petting move as Taeyong pounced into position. He gave the man the brightest smile, Ten was giggling too, before Taeyong switched back into the sleazy panther he wanted to channel for the song. His partner’s energy radiated into him, and Taeyong no longer felt like he was in a room with a thousand people, but alone with Ten. They were like strings of DNA, moving in sync together without anyone telling them to. 

When the time came for the dance break, the two locked gazes. It was just for a split second but it was as if they were struck by lightning. That in that very moment, Ten and Taeyong truly were made to be together, perhaps not as lovers, but as a pair of artists. He could almost see how their breaths connected, the rise and fall of their chests were perfectly synchronised, which sent them both into a performing high. Ten sang his heart out after that, despite nearly losing his breath and cracking his voice in portions.

The song ended and the light dimmed into near total darkness. He glanced at Ten, their chests heaving and breathing hard as if they had run an entire marathon. Taeyong pulled Ten by the arm to hug him, but Ten deflected the touch, so the elder merely resorted to a small pat on the arm. The lights were brought back on again, and it was time for their ending messages.

They both said their thank you’s, Ten in Thai and his in Korean. They both thanked the fans so dearly for supporting them along the way, and for the warm welcome. Taeyong added that he wanted to stay for longer and that there were so many places he wanted to explore, but sadly time was up. For his ending ment, as well as the time for Bangkok.

Taeyong held his hand out for Ten to hold, and they laced their fingers together for one big bow, hands clasped tightly, like neither of them wanted to loosen the grip at any given time. 

Alas, they had to say their goodbyes. After a few more waves to the audience, the staff called them backstage so they could run and change for the airport. 

Once they had reached the van to change, they were greeted with a familiar sight: two cups of Thai milk tea, Taeyong’s favorite. He glanced at Ten, who smiled as well, before they got into the car to change. 

The van was dim, the curtains drawn and only the two of them were inside. They tried to ignore the sound of each other’s pounding hearts as they put on more comfortable clothes for the trip on the airplane. The rustling of clothes was the only thing they could hear, as they peeled off their sweaty clothes. Taeyong was careful not to peek on accident as they put on the clothes they were going to wear to the airport. 

They were dressed quickly, as wished by their manager. They weren’t even able to exchange words to each other before the van set off to the airport. They sipped their Thai milk tea in silence, lost as to how to start a conversation with the other anymore.

The airport was, again, filled with fans who were there to bid goodbye to them. The staff was strict, and wanted them to have no interactions with their fans. Taeyong tried a smile or two at them but his face was covered by a mask, so they wouldn’t be able to see anyway. He glanced over at Ten, who was walking in front of him, unbothered. They bumped into each other in immigration and customs line, which had to prompt a conversation.

“Ah, my bad,” Taeyong peeped.

Ten shook his head, “No, I was just clumsy.”

“You always are, Tennie,” the elder said in a playful tone. 

Ten made an offended sound, but without being too serious. They continued the conversation after the officer had checked their passports so they could move forward with ease.

“What do you mean, “I’m always clumsy?”” Ten asked.

“Well…” Taeyong bit at his straw to give it a bit of thought. “You never really watch where you’re going, so I always worry that you’ll trip and fall and wound your face.” 

Taeyong wondered how Ten would deflect him at this point.

“If that happens, then you won’t be the only one who would look good with a scar,” Ten countered, smiling deviously before taking the straw into his mouth again.

The staff led them to the boarding area, and flanked the boys from all corners so they wouldn’t be followed by crazy fans. For all it mattered, it felt as though it was only the two of them again, enjoying themselves as friends for now. 

On the plane, the two of them exchanged music to listen to. They were seated next to each other, their arms touching as they leaned against the armrest in the middle. He made Ten listen to some good Kendrick Lamar songs, while Ten was making him listen to smooth, acoustic songs, typical of Ten. 

“What song was this again?” Taeyong asked Ten, leaning into the boy a little. It was a soft song, it sounded sad, but Taeyong could only understand a little bit of it. The singer’s voice as smooth as silk, and it flowed like the material as well. He sounded like he was begging. Ten took out one Airpod and popped it in his own ear.

“Ah! This is  _ Lover, Please Stay  _ by Nothing but Thieves,” Ten mused – he had suggested that song a few nights ago. 

“It’s a pretty song,” Taeyong replied, “very sad.”

Ten gave him the Airpod back so he could listen to the song. They sat in silence like that, listening to each other’s playlists. Taeyong, pretending to be subtle, placed a hand on top of Ten’s. The younger did not protest. The plane’s lights turned off a little while after take off. 

“You have a good taste in music, hyung,” Ten said as he dropped the man’s AirPods back into their respective case. 

Taeyong, half-asleep, couldn’t quite respond in a coherent manner. He gave a nod and a smile, but his eyes were drooping down. He felt a light fingertip warming his cheek, drawing wispy lines on the skin to soothe him. 

“Goodnight, Taeyong-hyung,” Ten said, before nuzzling into the man’s shoulder to get into a comfortable sleeping position.

When Taeyong woke from his nap an hour later, the first thing he noticed was how his hands and Ten’s were tightly clasped together, plus how close Ten was to him. His heart felt warm. This was because they’re… brothers, yes? Brothers did cheesy things like this, platonically.

Taeyong shook his head. They were so much more than brothers. He still loved Ten, he knew that his heart ached for this boy. He watched Ten as he slept. Ten stirred as soon as he felt Taeyong’s eyes on him.

“Hyung?” Ten murmured, his voice low so as not take the other passengers. He tilted his head up a little so he could see Taeyong. 

“Yes?” Taeyong said, gently. 

“It’s no use…” 

Taeyong shifted his head so he could get a good look at Ten’s face, anticipating the next words with a hard pounding heart.

“God, I still love you,” Ten breathed out, “I’m still so in love with you that I’m lost.” 

The elder lifted Ten’s hand, clasping onto it, and kissed the spaces between his knuckles one by one. He heard Ten heave out a heavy sigh as soon as he reached the last space. 

“We can start over, the both of us,” continued Ten as he placed his hand to cup Taeyong’s cheek.

“They’ll never accept us.” 

“Then we keep it a secret!”

“Can we do that, though?”

“We can hide behind fanservice,” Ten told him, spinning circles on his shirt, “and brotherhood.”

Taeyong slid his fingers where Ten’s were, and placed their hands on the armrest, 

“What I meant was,” Taeyong began, “I might not be able to hold back. Like what I did in the fanmeeting earlier,” he recalled telling Ten that he loved him in front of a huge audience, “I might have the insatiable urge to kiss you every time I see you.” 

With that, Ten’s lips curved into a smile. “What you did back there was cruel. I panicked! I couldn’t even say anything in return. The fans will be cooking up theories by now. And those pictures of me, too? Don’t think I didn’t see those, Hyung.” Ten pinched Taeyong’s waist with his free hand.

Taeyong elicited a soft giggle. “We disproved all that when we called each other brothers.”

“We’re the worst liars. No one will actually believe us,” Ten was smiling as he whispered into Taeyong’s ear.

“I don’t care.”

He thanked the darkness of the plane. He thanked the fact that everyone around him was asleep. He thanked the fact that their seats were close together. He thanked all the circumstances that would lead them to this moment as Taeyong pulled Ten by the collar to close the distance between them. 

It had only been a few hours, but the amount of time they spent not kissing felt like two slow-moving eternities. They tried to be as quiet as possible, so that none of the people in the plane could wake up to two popular idols in Korea kissing each other hungrily.

They parted when Taeyong heard heels tapping on the floor from a distance. Their breaths were hot, heavy, like they’ve both been craving for this for the longest time. Taeyong held Ten’s face with both of his hands and rested their foreheads together. Ten put a hand over Taeyong’s, sighing out all the stresses they went through the past week.

“Falling for a member is the worst thing an idol can possibly do,” Ten murmured as his eyes fluttered closed. “I vowed to myself that I would never do such a thing, but here I am. I’m a mess.”

“And I’ll always be here to clean up after you,” Taeyong assured him with a gentle tone. “No matter what happens, even if we “break up” again, we’ll always be family. I promise.” 

Ten tilted his head downwards, to his necklace of rings then he glanced at Taeyong’s eyes. There was a spark in them, of determination, but the way that Ten kept looking back and forth made him look indecisive. Then, he raised the lace of the necklace above his head to take it off. He unlocked the latch that kept the rings in place. He kept one ring on his neck, and held the other in front of Taeyong. 

Ten let out a bashful chuckle at Taeyong’s surprised expression. His jaw was open, his eyes wide. “I never really told you the reason why I kept these rings, did I?” He raised Taeyong’s left hand, and slipped the silver band into the elder’s ring finger. “It’s for the silliest reason. I wanted to give one of these to the person I can trust and love with my whole heart.” Ten was giggling, visibly cringing at how cheesy he was. 

Taeyong caressed the ring on his finger, still shocked and confused. He looked at the ring, then at Ten. “This one’s for me?”

The younger nodded, chewing at his lower lip.

Taeyong kissed Ten’s forehead, gracing soft lips on pillowy skin. They were literally on the clouds right now, but Taeyong figuratively felt that way as well. 

“You’re the biggest dork, you know,” Taeyong told the younger.

“And you love me for that,” Ten grinned. 

Their hands were stuck on each other’s for the rest of the flight. At this point, Taeyong could no longer imagine life without Ten. He needed the boy, and the boy needed him. 

The silver ring twinkled under the dim lights of the plane as Ten continued to take his well-earned nap on Taeyong’s shoulder. Taeyong put his head on Ten’s, and dozed off to dreamland with his lover. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! comments and kudos are love. i have planned another fanfic, a johntaeten au this time - won't be making any promises! but i'm very excited to get started on it.


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